very very newbie - Im good.. or am i?
so im new to a diagnosis of breast cancer- i am single with 2 children recently left home- Right from the get go 4 weeks ago i thought there were issues- with country living i have had bumps and thu...
Forum Discussion
Oh, @Maureenz it is so hard to get through the "telling the news " time.
I also have a big, concerned family. Their idea of being supportive was to ring me one after another after every appointment or hospital visit.
I told them all that phone calls tired me too much and that I would keep them all updated by email.
I did this at first twice a week while there was lots to tell and then weekly, and now about every two weeks. That way I got to say things once and could just keep to the most important things.
My phone is always on answer phone anyway and if I don't feel up to it I don't answer.
The concern does abate a bit as time goes on, they get back to being concerned about their own life and as long as you keep them in the loop you might find they give you some space, if not tell them you need it!
You have lots of things to process and make decisions on and you need time to do it.
If there is one thing I have learned since being diagnosed it is to say what I need, nicely if possible, and bluntly if necessary.
It is not uncommon to find that you are the one being strong and supporting those around you. But don't feel you have to.
This time you have to look after you. If that seems selfish, then tough buns.
They can look after themselves, yes, your diagnosis is confronting but that is for them to deal with.
You have enough to deal with.
I protect my elderly parents from the worst of the treatment sideeffects and how I am dealing with it, they are old and frightened for me and I don't think it is good for them to worry.
The rest of the family can deal with their feelings about it themselves.
Early after diagnosis is a confusing, frustrating, panic striken time.
Digesting all the information can be emotionally draining, so take it as slowly as you need to, and stop when it gets too much.
You will find as you go along that it gets easier to process the information, and that more things make sense.
When you are making decisions about your body, go with your gut feeling and don't be swayed by other people's opinions.
If you don't feel you want the risk of breast conserving surgery, then say so.
It is your choice, your risk and your life.
Knowing what is best for you can be hard to decide, we make the decisions based on what information we have and then we have to be guided by the experts, but ultimately we make the decisions we feel we can live with.
Take each step as it comes, it is less overwhelming that way.
Come back here if you have questions, ask your breast care nurse if you have one, and gradually everything will start to become more manageable.
Getting away with a horse also helps! Mine is the best therapy I could have, when I am with him, I almost forget I have cancer, to the extent that I whip my turban off in annoyance when my head gets hot, only to realise with a start that I am at the Agistment place (I have no hair).
Good luck with finding your way, I hope we can help make it easier for you here,
Jennie
I also have a big, concerned family. Their idea of being supportive was to ring me one after another after every appointment or hospital visit.
I told them all that phone calls tired me too much and that I would keep them all updated by email.
I did this at first twice a week while there was lots to tell and then weekly, and now about every two weeks. That way I got to say things once and could just keep to the most important things.
My phone is always on answer phone anyway and if I don't feel up to it I don't answer.
The concern does abate a bit as time goes on, they get back to being concerned about their own life and as long as you keep them in the loop you might find they give you some space, if not tell them you need it!
You have lots of things to process and make decisions on and you need time to do it.
If there is one thing I have learned since being diagnosed it is to say what I need, nicely if possible, and bluntly if necessary.
It is not uncommon to find that you are the one being strong and supporting those around you. But don't feel you have to.
This time you have to look after you. If that seems selfish, then tough buns.
They can look after themselves, yes, your diagnosis is confronting but that is for them to deal with.
You have enough to deal with.
I protect my elderly parents from the worst of the treatment sideeffects and how I am dealing with it, they are old and frightened for me and I don't think it is good for them to worry.
The rest of the family can deal with their feelings about it themselves.
Early after diagnosis is a confusing, frustrating, panic striken time.
Digesting all the information can be emotionally draining, so take it as slowly as you need to, and stop when it gets too much.
You will find as you go along that it gets easier to process the information, and that more things make sense.
When you are making decisions about your body, go with your gut feeling and don't be swayed by other people's opinions.
If you don't feel you want the risk of breast conserving surgery, then say so.
It is your choice, your risk and your life.
Knowing what is best for you can be hard to decide, we make the decisions based on what information we have and then we have to be guided by the experts, but ultimately we make the decisions we feel we can live with.
Take each step as it comes, it is less overwhelming that way.
Come back here if you have questions, ask your breast care nurse if you have one, and gradually everything will start to become more manageable.
Getting away with a horse also helps! Mine is the best therapy I could have, when I am with him, I almost forget I have cancer, to the extent that I whip my turban off in annoyance when my head gets hot, only to realise with a start that I am at the Agistment place (I have no hair).
Good luck with finding your way, I hope we can help make it easier for you here,
Jennie