Forum Discussion
The wait is frustrating and worrying. And so many questions!
Hello, I have been recently diagnosed and it has been a whirlwind of events. I had a lump on my left breast which I was confident was just a fibroadenoma but went to have it checked out anyway. The GP sent me off for a mammogram and ultrasound, then core biopsies of said lump. Whilst having the core biopsies the radiologist asked if I had noticed any changes in my right breast. I had not, neither had the GP. He said there was a lump there too and should be biopsied but I would need a separate referral. I booked an appointment for the following week. In the meantime I went back to the GP and the results from the scans and biopsies confirmed a fibroadenoma in my left breast and that the lump in the right was probably the same. We decided to go ahead with the biopsies. feeling confident it was benign I had no concerns abut the results. Until, taking my daughter to her first day of high school I get a call from my GP reception suggesting I bring someone to the appointment with me! I felt my world cave in. Thank goodness my Mum was with me. I had breast cancer.
Everything happened so fast initially. I was diagnosed on the Tuesday, saw the breast surgeon specialist that Thursday and had surgery on the Monday! Now I'm home 1.5 weeks after surgery, relieved that the cancer has been removed but frustrated waiting on a treatment plan. It was stage II, ER+ and PR+, and node positive. Do I opt for chemo (there is no way I can afford the oncotype DX testing)? Do I use the cold cap thingy or just shave (maybe I'll dye it pink too!)? What about dose densing (more chemo over shorter time so I can get back to normal work sooner)? Radiotherapy? Hormone therapy? The waiting is frustrating, I just want this all to be over and done with. I'm worried that I won't have enough sick leave left for those days I may need off during treatment. How will I provide for and support my darling daughter? Will I be able to pay my mortgage and other bills? How much will the treatment cost?
There is so much going through my head right now... :'( :s :/
Sorry I went on and on... Just needed to get it out. <3
Everything happened so fast initially. I was diagnosed on the Tuesday, saw the breast surgeon specialist that Thursday and had surgery on the Monday! Now I'm home 1.5 weeks after surgery, relieved that the cancer has been removed but frustrated waiting on a treatment plan. It was stage II, ER+ and PR+, and node positive. Do I opt for chemo (there is no way I can afford the oncotype DX testing)? Do I use the cold cap thingy or just shave (maybe I'll dye it pink too!)? What about dose densing (more chemo over shorter time so I can get back to normal work sooner)? Radiotherapy? Hormone therapy? The waiting is frustrating, I just want this all to be over and done with. I'm worried that I won't have enough sick leave left for those days I may need off during treatment. How will I provide for and support my darling daughter? Will I be able to pay my mortgage and other bills? How much will the treatment cost?
There is so much going through my head right now... :'( :s :/
Sorry I went on and on... Just needed to get it out. <3
54 Replies
- Hi there love firstly. Just breathe. You need to take each day at a time. Once you get a plan of attack you will feel better the and oncologist will be the best one to advise you on this. Trestment is different for all of us. I was triple negative stage 2a grade 3 and I had dose dense didn’t bother with the cold caps and rocked the bandanas. As for your financial situation. Check your super for imcome protection. There are all options with accessing your super to pay your mortgsge. It’s a bit of a pain in the arse but worth pursuing. And also the bank has leniency for you if you struggle to pay your mortgsge so check I’m with them too. And also are you a single mum? As you can talk to Centrelink about accessing payments too. Don’t panic it all is doable. Make sure you take help from anyone that offers it and perhaps a friend can start a go fund me page for you if you need it or start one yourself and don’t be ashamed or worried about it it either you gotta do what you gotta do. Also your bc nurse and the social worker can help you too. Where abouts do you live love ?. I know of a few options in Brisbane if you are near me ?? And what is the oncotype DX testing you mentioned ?? You’ll be able to get all your trestment through the public system too. And try not to google anythimg. There’s too much conflicting info out there and it is a very good time to re evaluate your life and “take out the fucking trash” especially those people who drag you down. Biggest hug. Margie xx
- @PatsyN Deeply saddening at the time, but what a load off right?! Just sorry it has taken me a lifetime to do it.
Best wishes to you too. <3 - @"Kathleen M W"
My boyfriend of 9 months and a covert narc was gone within 6 weeks of my diagnosis.
It's sad that it took BC for his narcissism to become so obvious. He had our entire future mapped out.
I walked home from my first AC chemo cause he was still complaining about me running late in the morning (of my first ever chemo).
But I'm ever so grateful to my diagnosis for pointing out the bleeding obvious.
Good luck and best wishes.
Narcs never, ever, change. - I'm still in the lengthy process of applying for income support through my super. So, check your super scheme. Mine gives 75% of my income for up to 2 years once there is a 30 day period of not working (this can be done using rec or sick leave) You just have to get everyone under the sun to sign things. However, once you go back to work for a day, you have to start the waiting period again. I'm using a mix of private and public. And fortunately, We hadn't gotten around to cancelling health cover.
The chemo centre I'm using offered cold caps at no extra cost or inconvenience, so I'm giving them a go. Easier, for the kids, I think. As for what treatment you choose, you really need to have your questions ready and someone with you who is good at picking stuff up.
My initial diagnosis was 2.5cm ILC, probably contained. First surgery and sentinel node biopsy showed 4.5cm without clear margins and 3 nodes involved,OR & PR+, HER-. That meant mastectomy and axillary dissection. Cancer is probably gone but there could be floaters waiting to land somewhere else. I've just started chemo which hopefully will give me an extra 5% longer survival ( absolute not relative). When this finishes, I will have rads which offers another 5% at least. ILC doesn't follow the predictive tools they use, but it seems worth the pain. Amazingly, the doctors all agree as they call me young! - Hi @"Kathleen M W", I'm so sorry you've had to join us but I'm glad you've reached out for support.
Deep breath Honey - this is the most difficult whirlwind time. You will have a much better idea of what to expect after your appointment with your oncologist. Take your Mum - it's hard to absorb everything when you are so stressed. Discuss all these concerns with your onc and they will help you navigate all this - as will your breast care nurse.
Im thinking your psychologist may have previously given you some strategies ??? Get in and see them as soon as you can. You're going to need an outlet for all this.
It sounds like you've had a lot to deal with prior to your breast ca ( yeah some of us get it all) . We are all here for you.
Can you check if you've got income protection attached to your Super? Biggest hugs. Keep in touch with us. Xx - @Sister
@melclarity
I know you ladies looked at income support for during this time can you help Kathleen MW with this please. - Kathleen - you are amazing! I love that you've turned such a negative experience into a positive.
Delaying my surgery is all good. It's totally my choice because it will have the least impact on my family and work this way, and I know that my surgeon would never have agreed to the delay if there was a huge danger in waiting
Keep us posted on how you're doing. Sending you loads of good wishes! X - @Eastmum Thank you! I can't begin to imagine your circumstances and the even longer wait!
I'm already on medication for PTSD (another story and well managed) and thankfully, have a great psychologist - although she's been on leave so not up to date with my diagnosis. So far, work has been supportive, I will have to talk with them more about my options.
There have been some positives with this diagnosis though... After years of struggling with the guilt of separating myself from an abusive, narcissistic father, and the hope of having a loving and supportive relationship with him one day, I can now completely let go of him without feeling guilty. It is such a relief! On informing him of my diagnosis and asking for his confidence in not telling my daughter's father, as I wanted to tell him myself, in my own time - he rang my ex right away, then rang my Mum to tell her what he'd done and told that my ex was a far better father than I was a mother! No well wishes, nothing! Now I am able to move on, focus and returning to good health (although I don't feel unwell as yet, just sore) and give my attention and love to the people I know love me unconditionally. Phew! :smiley: - My local nurse had a group of ladies making such things as drain bags and support pillows and they were free to have through the McGrath nurse. She also organised a look good feel good day where there was wig info and sensitive skin lotions, and makeup. I came home with a heap of free makeup. :)
- @Brenda5 - Thank you! I haven't looked into the McGrath Foundation. :)
