Struggling with Negative Emotions
Good morning, I am new to the forum so apologies if this subject has been discussed previously. I had a double mastectomy in March 2024. Breast Cancer is so prevalent in my family, but all other fam...
Forum Discussion
Hi @jconnolly4285
Really sorry to hear about your situation - I hope that things will only continue to get better and better for you from here on out. For what it's worth I thought I might give my perspective as the carer and partner of an equally private and incredibly amazing woman who's been diagnosed and is currently undergoing treatment, in the hope that it might offer you some food for thought. I won't comment on the mastectomy side of things - we're yet to cross that bridge - but when we found out about my wife's diagnosis I was absolutely shattered. She is the glue that holds our family together and my best friend in the whole world - as a husband and provider, my biggest mental hurdle in the beginning was the fact that no matter how strong or smart I am, I couldn't fix her. That probably broke me more than anything else and honestly the only thing that helped me cope and become a more helpful carer was actually reaching out to close friends and family for support and reassurance, albeit with my wife's knowledge and OK.
We are a pretty quiet and private family who don't generally socialise or even really know / talk to our neighbours. We prefer to stick to ourselves and don't really go out or do events etc, so our support circle is pretty small. I don't know the circumstances around your family and their reasons for disclosing your condition to others, but I do think it's worth maybe reaching out to those loved ones and maybe talking about and trying to understand their reasons for their talking about your condition to others. For some, like me, it may just have been a way for them to cope and seek support.
I guess what it boils down to is that you're the only one who can truly know what it's like to go through this journey, but those around you, especially those who love and care for you, are also experiencing this difficult season and will have their own way of coping with it all.
I hope that makes sense, and ultimately I could be completely wrong, but either way, I wish you the absolute best and all the healing and happy vibes I can muster. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers along with the many others enduring this difficult situation.
Take care!
George
Really sorry to hear about your situation - I hope that things will only continue to get better and better for you from here on out. For what it's worth I thought I might give my perspective as the carer and partner of an equally private and incredibly amazing woman who's been diagnosed and is currently undergoing treatment, in the hope that it might offer you some food for thought. I won't comment on the mastectomy side of things - we're yet to cross that bridge - but when we found out about my wife's diagnosis I was absolutely shattered. She is the glue that holds our family together and my best friend in the whole world - as a husband and provider, my biggest mental hurdle in the beginning was the fact that no matter how strong or smart I am, I couldn't fix her. That probably broke me more than anything else and honestly the only thing that helped me cope and become a more helpful carer was actually reaching out to close friends and family for support and reassurance, albeit with my wife's knowledge and OK.
We are a pretty quiet and private family who don't generally socialise or even really know / talk to our neighbours. We prefer to stick to ourselves and don't really go out or do events etc, so our support circle is pretty small. I don't know the circumstances around your family and their reasons for disclosing your condition to others, but I do think it's worth maybe reaching out to those loved ones and maybe talking about and trying to understand their reasons for their talking about your condition to others. For some, like me, it may just have been a way for them to cope and seek support.
I guess what it boils down to is that you're the only one who can truly know what it's like to go through this journey, but those around you, especially those who love and care for you, are also experiencing this difficult season and will have their own way of coping with it all.
I hope that makes sense, and ultimately I could be completely wrong, but either way, I wish you the absolute best and all the healing and happy vibes I can muster. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers along with the many others enduring this difficult situation.
Take care!
George