Starting the journey - Waiting
Hi all
My name is Louise and I have just started out on this very scary journey!
A few weeks ago I noticed my left nipple no longer protruded as normal even in the cold and umm when stimulated lol. My dear partner (typical male) suggested it was because I sleep on my left side most of the time!
Being due for my regular PapSmear I asked my GP if she could check it out for me as I couldn't feel a lump. Having examined both breasts thoroughly she quietly suggested I ought to have another Mammogram (the most recent being in Feb 2010) and sent me off to a Womens Breast Testing Clinic. I was starting to feel a tad concerned at this point because I know my Doctor and her demeanour had changed even though she assured me that it could be nothing!
A 7 day wait for my appointment and I managed to put any bad thoughts out of my mind concentrating on my Family, friends, work and my beloved cats.
At the Clinic I was told after the Mammogram that perhaps I should have an Ultrasound...uh oh, alarm bells start to softly chime.
After the Ultrasound, the soft chiming became a loud clanging as the nurse told me very gently that yes, there was "something" there and I must have a Core Biopsy. I was booked in for that in 2 days time. Waiting, waiting, thinking positive all the while.
I sure hope I don't have to have another Biopsy too soon. After two injections of local anaesthetic the doctor still managed to take a sample from a section of my breast which hadn't dozed off.......wow.....give me child birth any day!
3 days to wait now and I am becoming more vague and doing silly things like putting milk in the pantry and sugar in the fridge.!
Finally it's time to see my GP and I can tell straight away by her attitude that things aren't looking too good here. She tells me as gently as she can that I have an Invasive Lobular Carcinoma and that I should see a Surgeon as soon as possible. Being a virgo..lol...I had done some research and already decided on the Hospital I wanted and together my GP and I discovered who we felt would be the best Surgeon for me.
5 days to wait until I see the Surgeon...wow, if only I could sleep until then. Just knock me out and wake me up in time for my appointment!
This was 5 days of numbness, of putting cat biscuits in the washing machine insead of Laundry liquid (not recommended) and mixing coke with my cordial instead of water, not a great taste sensation I can tell you.
So now I know. I have met my Surgeon (lovely lady) and know that in another 7 days time I will be having a Mastectomy and removal of several Lymph nodes. Whew..Is it just me? I have gone into mental meltdown, my brain just refuses to focus...Believe me, I am still doing my "power of positive" thinking routine but I'm not sure its working!!
7 days of waiting. I've told my partner of 6 years, who is being an absolute rock and my closest family and friends, but how do I tell my other friends and work colleagues? How do I cope with my best friend who sobs inconsolably everytime she talks to me? My older sister who usually cries through every movie we ever see together is also being an amazing support. What's going to happen after the surgery, will I be clear, will I need further treatment...it's all a bit much to take in. I read someone, somewhere on this site said "take it one day at time" if only each day wasn't so long, but I'm trying really hard!
Thank god I still have my sense of humour but I would really love to hear from other ladies who are just starting out or have already travelled this journey.
Thanks for reading.
Louise
