Welcome to the forum that most don't want to be part of it but come to appreciate and embrace. There's always someone on any time of day or night to help you through and I hope you get comfort in reading posts, perhaps offering a comment and eventually accepting the colour pink. It is, in my view, symbolic!
Not sure what State you are in to offer suggested groups that you may want to enquire about. If you use the BCNA website and search engine you will find a multitude of services available in your State.
As others have said being angry is understandable. Do you have a Breast care nurse? What about your GP, to discuss your concerns and find out about resources that may assist and or counselling. BCNA have nurses that you can speak with.
Here's a link from the BCNA website that hopefully will give you a better understanding of your type of Breast Cancer
https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/types-of-breast-cancer/
Getting an understanding and or talking with a Breast Cancer nurse and or BCNA staff or even us on the forum will help you to formulate some questions so that you won't feel so left out of the loop.
Take care