I chose a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction from the beginning and I am happy that I did. I had a tissue expander implant but would have liked a diep flap but my surgeon was very concerned in any delay and in the end I went with his advise and happy with this choice. I'm a heavy bottomed small shouldered pear shape and I would have spent my life altering clothes or stuffing them out without reconstruction. I also didn't want to always be reminded of the cancer whenever I changed. I swim, use community change rooms and feel no discomfort doing so. To me it was just part of putting the cancer behind me. I am sorry you have to go through this again. We are here to listen.