Hi all, I was quite set back by a hospital staff member calling me this morning to ask me some important questions regarding my three appointments at hospital tomorrow. First one 11am Radiation Dept. Next 2.45pm Post Op. my surgeon then again 4pm back at Radiation DeptI was first diagnosed in 2014, then again February 2018 another tumour grade 3 etc( can see my previous post) The question she asked me was. "Do I believe in quality of life as against quantity of life" It threw me as I took it to be as I was now 70 were they considering me to be past certain treatment and choosing more deserving or younger patients?I did choose not to have any treatment after my first WLE in 2014. But surely because I chose that the first time some 4 years ago surely they dont expect me to go that route again as things are much much worse now.My question to all you lovely ladies who have gone through this, or going through this. Is it rough to start at 70 should I consider milder treatment as I have seen both my mother & sister suffer terribly and still pass with no quality for the last couple of years of their lives. I really don't want to put my two daughters through this. Its a memory I have never forgotten seeing them go as they did. It could have been easier I know.So sorry to ask such a serious question but I go in tomorrow for the final discussion with one of my daughters, I need some serious advice. Sadly I have a twin sister to think of as well. Thanks in advance love & hugs to all on here. Dawn x

Hello ladies back with an updat on where I am at. My first chemo session was on 20th June 4 hours of it but all good. hadnt realised one gets other drugs in the iv as well as the hercepton & Paclitaxel which lengthens the process. But I have got the hang of it now as I had second treatment yesterday tuesday & all good. First go next day I was like superman I flew around my daughters house like Buz lightyear didnt realise I had steroids added to my treatment, Today though I dont feel so good but still ok a bit nausea today but no vomiting. With a whole year of this I should be an expert by the end of it. Not that I want to be. Well ladies happy to be going along as good as this, Hope you are all good as well, Till next time healthy times to you all love Dawn

I think it is a reasonable question, but the delivery was a bit off considering it was a phone call and you do not know what will be recommended. Advanced car planning is something that most of us neglect but it is a discussion we should all have when, or before, things start to go screwy. Some people want to do everything they can and will accept any treatment, regardless of the effect on their quality of life. Others would prefer not to.One thing I would recommend is keeping any decisions about accepting or refusing treatment (assuming that is what it comes down to) to yourself until you are fairly sure what you want to do. Family/peer pressure can be intense and can make it very difficult to follow your own path if they disagree with you. Mxx

Thanks ladies for all your input. I have done a lot of very thoughtful thinking this afternoon & have decided to make a list of positives & negatives for treatment & for not having treatment. I will write it up tonight & take it with me tomorrow I wont bring it up unless I feel the need to during the discussion. I had four very very good years from 2014 to 2018 without ANY treatment at all! Maybe I was lucky, but maybe just maybe four more very good QUALITY years would be better than five, six or seven years of chemo, radiation, hormone treatment & all the symptoms & hospital appointments that will go with it might be a healthier option also? Who knows? I have a big decision tomorrow. May God & all his little angels be with me then.God bless you all.

Dads oncologist just before Christmas became very candid with dad saying the bone cancer is taking over. Dad was not impressed and immediately asked for a psychologist. I think the psychologist had a quiet word to the oncologist when he got back from Christmas as he was a different man when he saw dad next and a plan was hatched to have a new sort of chemo. Yes it has risks. Yes there are side effects, some not yet known. Yes they overdosed dad on the first dose of chemo but they got it right now and he is hardly sick at all. Just a bit tired for a few days and then he comes good. Dad has now planted himself a couple of veg gardens. I love his snow peas. Dad is 78 now.

I don't think that's a question you can answer without knowing what is prompting it and while it might be something you need to consider, hardly appropriate in a pre-appointment phone call. As to what you are able to cope with at 70, I think that will depend on the treatment considered, your general fitness, etc. I'm sorry - this is not really what you were asking but it seems so bizarre for you to be presented with this in this way.

Quality of Life or Quantity they asked me?

40 Replies

arpie
Member
8 years ago
All the best @Dawnc as you go thru your treatment. xx
MoiraC
Member
8 years ago
Glad to hear it has gone well so far @Dawnc -take it easy Moira
kmakm
Member
8 years ago
Well done Dawn :)
Dawnc
Member
8 years ago
Hello ladies back with an updat on where I am at. My first chemo session was on 20th June 4 hours of it but all good. hadnt realised one gets other drugs in the iv as well as the hercepton & Paclitaxel which lengthens the process. But I have got the hang of it now as I had second treatment yesterday tuesday & all good. First go next day I was like superman I flew around my daughters house like Buz lightyear didnt realise I had steroids added to my treatment, Today though I dont feel so good but still ok a bit nausea today but no vomiting. With a whole year of this I should be an expert by the end of it. Not that I want to be. Well ladies happy to be going along as good as this, Hope you are all good as well, Till next time healthy times to you all love Dawn
kmakm
Member
8 years ago
It's good to read the confidence in your posts about the move and your treatment Dawn. Have a lovely pampered week! K xox
Zoffiel
Member
8 years ago
Being comfortable and supported makes such a difference, I'm pleased for you. Mxx
melclarity
Member
8 years ago
@Dawnc sorry I don't get to the main forum much these days, so glad to hear how things have panned out for you. It does sound like being with your daughter was the perfect move, and glad that things were sorted and you will start treatment soon. As I read your initial post I actually wondered whether you mentioned of your Mum and Sister? and that the question was posed in context?? As you said about how they suffered? so I did wonder maybe it wasnt quite meant as you felt. I really dont think it had anything to do with you refusing treatment at 1st diagnosis.

I was over treated 1st diagnosis in 2011, and I had a recurrence in the same spot in 2015 and had to have chemo then but no radiation as Id already had it. I think quality is talked about alot here on the Forum, due to the grueling treatments. It doesnt seem fair no matter how we look at it. I think we honestly make the right decisions for us at the right time. There is so much to consider and all our diagnosis and treatments are so different. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, I made decisions based on specialist opinions and they were right for me at each step...however we just dont have a crystal ball and I couldnt have known how my quality would be impacted as everyone.

You are in a very safe and loving place so day at a time, I think you'll do very well. Hugs Melinda xo
Dawnc
Member
8 years ago
Hi all once again. Moved into my daughter, Nolene's home yesterday' thursday. Boy was I exhausted! Slept 2 hours that afternoon I soooooo relaxed when I was all settled. My room is amazing. My chemo has been put back to 20th June as I am to have few appointments at PA first, appointment an echo cardiac on 14th plus Bone scan same day. the Porta cath in on 18th, Then on 19th meet with medical oncologist with all results and tell me of all my plan dates apparently in blue appts book, so I can organise ambulance for through my GP. Then on 20th my first chemo herceptin & paclitaxel 3,5 hours approx. Well a week in new digs to get myself together calm down rest & be pampered by Nolene is just what Dr ordered. Lets get this year over!
socoda
Member
8 years ago
Hi @Dawnc sounds like you've got your plan totally sorted. How wonderful not only for you but for your girls to be able to assist you in this way and know that they have the opportunity to make your treatment that bit more tolerable. Hugs to all of you and best wishes for packing, moving and then treatment. Let us know how you're going. Xx
j9k
Member
8 years ago
Hi @Dawnc. I had a port put in after I developed a blood clot in my arm from 2nd chemo via cannula, BC aged 38. Best decision. 4yrs later for BC round 2, Onc opted straight for Port. It's a bit uncomfortable but much less stressful and painful to access than repeat cannulas. As someone else suggested, apply Emla (numbing) cream before accessing makes it completely painless,although it's very tolerable without. Wishing you all the best. Xx