Out of control and in shock

Well obviously I'm still awake when I should be asleep particularly if you could see my work diary which has gone off its head partly because everyone is trying to get in to see me and partly because it's tax time and everyone is trying to get in to see me. Work is being very accomodating but want me to tell everyone which i have refused to do - I'm done with telling people so I made my boss tell my immediate staff who are now running the pity eyes at me and either by rumour or next Tuesday the remaining staff will be told I'm sick and will be off work for a month at this stage. Finding that a bit much I haven't even told most of my siblings cause I don't want the drama but I'm supposed to tell work colleagues - yeah no thanks. 

Feel like  next Tuesday and Wednesday are a sword hanging over my head even though I know it is a necessary evil, pretty anxious about it all and have so much to do before I get there lists are very long but they give me some semblance of control over my otherwise crazy life. 

I have a heap of crazy. Questions and I'm not sure if I should ring and ask them or wait to next week, not even sure if I see the oncologist at all next week or just all his minions. I need to get treatment dates so I can book a trip to qld for a gym comp for the youngest one, worried about a 40th I'm going to the week after as the bday boy's wife is an oncologist and if I have to tell her then I open Pandora's box on telling family members I don't want to tell - drama, drama, drama. Really this should make me tired but only makes me anxious and then I don't sleep