Forum Discussion
One more sleep until the diagnosis
Last Friday I felt a lump. After being knocked back by two busy surgeries I got into see a male Dr (by that time I didn’t care), he brought a nurse in and basically said, “this is not a cyst”. I got a referral to the country hospital and by the afternoon I was waiting with a friend for an ultrasound (my mother was on her way from Adelaide to stay with me and my husband freaking out as he couldn’t get to me before Sunday- yep we’re living apart due to work and I’m in the country with our youngest two children). It’s been a big year already and now this. Never perfect timing I guess. The ultrasound led to a mammogram and then a biopsy all in the one afternoon. I’m grateful they pulled strings to get it all done but now I’m so worried about tomorrow. I’m worried they pulled strings because it’s so bad!
The GP is a 9:30 tomorrow. My husband got me into a specialist in Adelaide on Wednesday morning at 11. All happening so fast which is good but scary. A week ago I was ‘cancer free’.
At the hospital they said it was 18mm and that ‘most’ lymph glands were fatty but they kept stopping to click on measurements in the lymph area. That is definitely wasn’t a cyst. Now everything feels like a symptom of something worse. My heart flutters and I wonder if it’s there too. My hand aches and i wonder if it’s there.
I’m worrying my 12 and 13 yr old as I’m teary. We need to make a decision in the next two weeks whether we stay in the country or move back to Adelaide. We need to make decisions about our house. I now desperately want to move back to Adelaide.
Im after reassurance that I know no one can give.
The GP is a 9:30 tomorrow. My husband got me into a specialist in Adelaide on Wednesday morning at 11. All happening so fast which is good but scary. A week ago I was ‘cancer free’.
At the hospital they said it was 18mm and that ‘most’ lymph glands were fatty but they kept stopping to click on measurements in the lymph area. That is definitely wasn’t a cyst. Now everything feels like a symptom of something worse. My heart flutters and I wonder if it’s there too. My hand aches and i wonder if it’s there.
I’m worrying my 12 and 13 yr old as I’m teary. We need to make a decision in the next two weeks whether we stay in the country or move back to Adelaide. We need to make decisions about our house. I now desperately want to move back to Adelaide.
Im after reassurance that I know no one can give.
32 Replies
- Hello @DomThom its such a nerve wracking time waiting for results. You have been given some great advice from our community members. Look after yourself and do what helps you to manage this stressful time. Dont hesitate to call our helpline on 1800 500 258 to speak with one of the cancer nurses for some information and support. All the best with your results tomorrow. Keep us posted.
- Thank @kmakm words of wisdom.
A friend has got me started on a mediation app. - Oh and Night Howls is fantastic and a sanity saver!
- It's such a crappy time @DomThom. The worst bit, the absolute pits. If it is cancer, once you know what you're dealing with and the doctors form your treatment plan, it'll get easier in a weird kind of way.
In the meantime try to stay in the moment as much as you can. And distract yourself as best as you can. It's so easy to say, but try not to cross any bridges until you get to them.
You're right, reassurance isn't really possible, but know this, whatever happens you'll get through the next month, the next six months, the next year. You're stronger than you think and so are your kids. My experience of BC has brought me closer to my husband and my friends. I've felt more love than I ever knew possible. My kids have shown resilience and compassion, and I think it will make them more empathetic people.
I'm sorry you find yourself here, and I sincerely hope that tomorrow you're not. But if you are diagnosed, we've got you. Deep breaths, K xox - Thank you @finch much appreciated
- @DomThom so sorry you've found you're way here but you couldn't have found a better place to air your worries. I really hope everything is ok. What a rotten time it is for you. Ask any question you like, the ladies here are fantastic. This forum has certainly been everything to me.
The best advice is don't rush ahead if you can help it. Take one step at a time and wait for your diagnosis. Definitely have someone with you. Once you've got that, jump on here and ask all the questions. All the best and take care xxxxx - @DomThom. Sending u the best of luck and the hugest hugs for a good diagnosis xoxooxo
- Thank you so much @sisfer and @Vangirl very much appreciate your comments. Having not slept much I’ll check out NightHowls :-)
- Great advice about taking someone to the appointments @Sister I found myself dumbstruck when I got my diagnosis and was really glad my friend was there to ask questions I didn't think of and make notes.
Also, don't assume you will need to spend a lot of money to access treatment. Even if you have private health insurance you can choose whether to use it or to go public. I'm a public patient and have not paid for anything except prescription medications. - It's such an overwhelming time @DomThom You don't say where you are but I'm guessing it's somewhere in SA. It does feel like a whirlwind but once you have your diagnosis, you can slow things down a little if you need to. You say that you're seeing a doctor in Adelaide. Is that a surgeon? I can thoroughly recommend Jim Kollias if you're looking for one. For now, just try to take one step at a time, and breathe. Write down any questions you have for the doctor and take someone you trust with you to the appointment as it's always good to have another pair of ears - you probably won't take in much of what you're told. If finances are an issue, don't be afraid to let the doctor know that - you'd be surprised at how understanding many of them are.
As for the kids, my best advice is to be honest with them. You are in shock. My kids were 11,12 and 15 when I was diagnosed. We told them what was going on and that I was upset and worried. We also told them that we would tell them what we knew, when we knew it. They have been understanding through all of it over the last 9 months.
Let us know how you go. For me this site has been a sanity saver. You will find information and support as well as the odd laugh from people who get it.
Oh...try "Night Howls" if you you're awake in the middle of the night, or anytime, really.
