So I've had my portacath inserted (totally lost it it the room), had my echo, CT Chest/Abdo/Pelvis and Bonescan. Kinda feel like a science experiment. Now to wait until next wednesday to start chemo.....

Portacath. Torture chamber for me. Most people find it not an issue. I feel for you, BIG time. I felt lost between the end of my testing and the start of treatment. Not long to go for you now. Go to your favourite eating place this weekend to treat yourself just in case you don't feel like it later.

@Sister that almost happened when I had to have my echo before the portacath got put in. Not sure if some people realise how stressful things are. Just because we look outwardly calm doesn't mean we aren't treading water like a mad person to keep our heads above the water

@sweetpetal I was big and brave and went to my rads consultation by myself. I checked in and went where I was directed to go, got weighed and sat in the waiting room and waited...and waited... Asked if I was in the right place and waited...and waited... Asked how long the doctor would be and told that he wasn't in, someone was filling in for him on another floor and clinic was now over. Directed through the maze of the hospital to the other floor, trying to find my way through the tears. Got to reception and couldn't talk because I was bawling by then. Talk about losing it. And when I did recover, I stayed shaky for the rest of the afternoon. Not my fault but certainly not how I would have reacted pre-bc. They have boxes of tissues around for a reason!

I caused quite the scene at my first chemo. Left alone in a room with the cold cap on and going for hour before the chemo started. Burst into noisy uncontrollable heaving sobs. My hands were over my face and the machine was loud. I was in the far bed in a two bed room (no one else in the other bed) so I thought no one would hear. Too many BC traumatised kids at home to cry there. I suddenly heard a voice. I took my hands of my face to see a very old woman in a hosital gown shuffling towards me on a walking frame and a crowd of people gathered round the door all staring in. "Are you all right dear?" "Yes. No. Yes" followed by bitter weeping laughter (mine). The nurse was fetched and the crowd dispersed. She held my hand and told me to cry as much as I like, that I was in a safe space. I cried for an hour! They're used to it.As my dear grandmother-in-law used to say, better out than your elbow!I also cried all the way through my CT scan. But that was just after the PS had told me I'd have to have implants (which I didn't want and in the end didn't have), that I was destined to put back on all the weight I'd lost (not yet I haven't), that I wouldn't be able to lose enough to get into the BMI safety zone before my operation (I did), and that I'd never look good naked (see my husband!). There aren't the words in my vocabulary for that man...

Hi @Sweetpetal I'm also starting chemo on Wednesday, although the last few weeks have been very stressful with lots of appointments etc I now feel like I'm in limbo waiting for what is coming next.

Now the waiting | BCNA Online Network

28 Replies

kmakm
Member
7 years ago
@Sweetpetal Random stuff is good. I watched stupid sitcoms for months.
Sweetpetal
Member
7 years ago
@kmakm was watching haunted history. Now just reading and some random stuff on tv
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
@Sweetpetal Good on you. Got something good to watch on tele?
Sweetpetal
Member
7 years ago
@kmakm yep doing all that just chilling out
Sweetpetal
Member
7 years ago
One of my neighbors is cooking a curry currently making me feel I'll.
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
@Sweetpetal Drink two - three litres of water a day in the next two - three days, and flush with the lid down! K xox
Payne
Member
7 years ago
Rest up and take it easy for next few days @Sweetpetal. Bummer about your partner having to leave but good nursing staff make all the difference. Get a little gentle exercise in if you can ( helps with the fatigue). Jump back on here if any concerns.
Sue x
Sweetpetal
Member
7 years ago
Hey @Payne yeah the nursing staff were great. Unfortunately my partner had to go half way through due to a work snafu I bawled after he left but the nurses took care of me. Had alot of more info to take it my brain is mush. Feel a bit crappy just tired glad I dont have to go to work till monday
Payne
Member
7 years ago
Hi there @Sweetpetal, how did your chemo go? Hope the nursing staff were very supportive x
Sweetpetal
Member
7 years ago
@LIttleBlueWren I plan on reading ALOT lol

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Now the waiting

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