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Ninja's avatar
Ninja
Member
8 years ago

No support from my son/single Mum

So I will be starting my chemo on 28th April and today I had my first little minor moment, of OMG it really is going too be happening. I have been extremely strong and positive since I was diagnosed back on the 15th February, however today I got bit teary...
My son is nearly 20 yrs of age and I have been raising him on my own since he was 12 yrs of age. I am both his Mum and Dad. ( his father abandoned us and has never come back). His best mate knows of my breast cancer but not many of his other mates. He dosnt talk too me about how he feels about my cancer. He is a fifo worker and does a 2/1 shift. He is going through his own private stuff but shows no support too me. When I ask him too do some things for me, its yeh will do it later and then bang a mate will call and say I need a hand and off he goes.
I hate that we fight but feel like whatever I ask him too do is like a burden too him and then he wonders why I get angry when he says whats wrong and then I tell him why and response is oh for god sake stop nagging..
Has anyone else gone through this with their son's.
He has been like this since he was 16yrs of age but I thought maybe he would be a bit more supportive and would step up a bit, especially as he nearly 20yrs of age

14 Replies

  • Yes at the moment its all about him. thanks for the chat
  • Try not to let it get to you. You can't make people care, and it's up to them to express themselves if they do. They probably do care, let's hope they aren't stone cold. Hard to tell sometimes.
  • @Zoffiel  Makes you feel so unloved and not important too them. He did this the night before I went in for my op and didn't see him until two weeks later. Its all about them, so upsets me.
  • Mine is the same. BC version 1, he was 13 so somewhat excused. BC version 2, he was 24 and no help at all. I was also a single mum, maybe I was too resilient? Too tough? Too busy? Who knows. The thing that shits me is he (also a FIFO) called in to see my mother and begged off staying with her because he needed to come home and help me. What? 
    I rang him the other day, 'Please come and help me get some wood in for winter.' Nup. Going bike riding.
    Look, he doesn't ask for much (probably justjas well as I  don't have anything left) and he isn't rude or abusive. He's just 24 and not available. So it goes.