Newly Diagnosed
Hi I am Shann and newly diagnosed on the 6th September and waiting for results from a core biopsy.
Forum Discussion
Hi @shann. I am almost three months in to this horror, and the pressure to be the 'good patient' is palpable.
My sister died from this bloody disease 20 months ago and I'm raising her two kids along with my two. My 85yo father-in-law moved in with us after his daughter died from a brain tumour in 2015. My husband works 60 hour weeks, 2 - 4 days a week of which is interstate. I have tremendous help and support from friends but the pressure on me to maintain a positive face to everyone is intense and immense. I cry when I'm on my own all the time.
I try not to lay my sadness on my clinicians but it's hard and I don't always succeed. I feel like i have had all my choices taken away from me, and feel dismantled inside by the never ending blows. I DREAD the 'new normal' and am quailing at the mountain in front of me.
It turns out the only place I can really let loose with my tears is at chemotherapy. One hour of sobbing the first dose, twenty minutes the second. The lovely NUM at the first dose said I was in a safe place and could cry all day if I needed to.
I'm seeing a psychologist (community funded and so costs very little) and she is helping I think. She did the depression, anxiety and stress test on me. It said I was severely depressed, moderately anxious and severely stressed. No shit Sherlock... Currently mulling over the concept of anti-depressants.
A very good friend conducted the study that proved that being positive has zero effect on cancer outcomes.
Get help for the negativity if want/can. But don't let anyone tell you that what you are feeling is wrong or bad. Your feelings are YOUR feelings, no one else's and are in no way wrong. I am no expert but my psych tells me that one in three women with breast cancer get depressed, and that everything I am feeling is bog standard normal. Yes, in addition to everything else I am a cliché!
Hang in there.
Chemo 3 tomorrow. Will there be tears?! Probably...
My sister died from this bloody disease 20 months ago and I'm raising her two kids along with my two. My 85yo father-in-law moved in with us after his daughter died from a brain tumour in 2015. My husband works 60 hour weeks, 2 - 4 days a week of which is interstate. I have tremendous help and support from friends but the pressure on me to maintain a positive face to everyone is intense and immense. I cry when I'm on my own all the time.
I try not to lay my sadness on my clinicians but it's hard and I don't always succeed. I feel like i have had all my choices taken away from me, and feel dismantled inside by the never ending blows. I DREAD the 'new normal' and am quailing at the mountain in front of me.
It turns out the only place I can really let loose with my tears is at chemotherapy. One hour of sobbing the first dose, twenty minutes the second. The lovely NUM at the first dose said I was in a safe place and could cry all day if I needed to.
I'm seeing a psychologist (community funded and so costs very little) and she is helping I think. She did the depression, anxiety and stress test on me. It said I was severely depressed, moderately anxious and severely stressed. No shit Sherlock... Currently mulling over the concept of anti-depressants.
A very good friend conducted the study that proved that being positive has zero effect on cancer outcomes.
Get help for the negativity if want/can. But don't let anyone tell you that what you are feeling is wrong or bad. Your feelings are YOUR feelings, no one else's and are in no way wrong. I am no expert but my psych tells me that one in three women with breast cancer get depressed, and that everything I am feeling is bog standard normal. Yes, in addition to everything else I am a cliché!
Hang in there.
Chemo 3 tomorrow. Will there be tears?! Probably...