Hi Suzieq,
my heart hurt when I read your post :( I remember that awful day myself too cleary,it was my daughters 16 th Birthday.
My advice to you my dear friend,as unreal as it all seems now things will get better.We must never lose hope,try and be positive,but remember we all have down days and the important thing is that we get back up again.
Turn your fear into strength,many women have walked this path before us and have come through shining.
I will be thinking of you over the coming days and weeks,take care my new friend xxxxx