Hi Kerry-Lee. I'm sorry that you've found yourself here but I can see that you're already discovering how warm, supportive and helpful it is.
I had an element of choice about chemotherapy. While my stats on the page said I could have gone straight to radiation from the lumpectomy, my family history of this disease, some other diagnostic issues and my responsibilities warranted serious consideration for this course of treatment. I followed this path and did an oncotype test (very expensive and generously paid for by my dad), which very clearly established that if some tiny cells were off looking for somewhere else to roost in my body, chemo would have a curative effect.
I had a full on panic attack in bed two nights before chemo started. I bawled for an hour during the first infusion. But the big girl undies were yanked right up to my chin and I made it through.
It wasn't easy or pleasant, but it wasn't the end of the world either. My medical team advised it but ultimately the decision was mine. It's seven weeks since my final dose so it's early days, but I have absolutely no regrets. I know I did the right thing for me, my family and all those that love me.
Everything gets easier when your treatment, whatever it may be, gets underway. Hang in there. K xox