Mickey

Hello Shirl and Leonie, although I hav had only a minute contact with you both, your words have been very encouraging and supportive. Thank you both and I will keep in touch with updates.  Regards Mickey 

Hi Mickey ..... I was starting to be a bit concerned when you hadn't been on line for a while.

I am so pleased that things are working out for you.  I think that both of you going to counselling is a step in the right direction.  Talking to an impartial stranger can open the gates of emotion and help you realise what you both came so close to losing ..... each other!

This bloody cancer plays havoc with your brain as well as your body ... not just yours but families and friends too, and everyone reacts in a different manner.  Stay positive with this, keep open minds and don't dwell in the past.  Talk openly in counselling without recriminations .... no playing the "blame game" ..... and you will both come through this.

Will be thinking of you both ....

Cheers ... Shirl

Hi Mickey ..... I was starting to be a bit concerned when you hadn't been on line for a while.

I am so pleased that things are working out for you.  I think that both of you going to counselling is a step in the right direction.  Talking to an impartial stranger can open the gates of emotion and help you realise what you both came so close to losing ..... each other!

This bloody cancer plays havoc with your brain as well as your body ... not just yours but families and friends too, and everyone reacts in a different manner.  Stay positive with this, keep open minds and don't dwell in the past.  Talk openly in counselling without recriminations .... no playing the "blame game" ..... and you will both come through this.

Will be thinking of you both ....

Cheers ... Shirl

Hello ladies. Well a bit of time has passed since my last posting. We are both going to counselling. It is helping but we have a long way to go. Our marriage was all but over. We both love each other and want what we had before. So we are both giving it our best shot. Time will be our healer.

Thanks mate Mickey

Hello Shirl, he is not a pub drinker. More of a stay at home bloke always has been We only have a couple of drinks between ourselves. Mostly on weekends. We don't go out. Guess we have always liked our quiet solitary lifestyle. This is why I find it so hard understanding his actions. Anyway the piece of 4x2 is looking good. Hav lived here for just over 3yrs. Were meant to B travellin OZ but due 2 illness between both of us we hav been stuck here. And now because of this issue we have I am so homesick for family, friends etc back in Vic. I can see me loadin up ute and just headin back south. Wow between you and Leonie U hav given me some incentive to do something/be stronger. Thanks Mickey

Hi again Mickey - I know exactly how you feel ... especially the confidentially of small towns in rural/outback areas.  I lived in Tennant Creek for 34 years and quite often it seemed that everyone knew what you were doing before you did it!!!!  I will admit though the gossip-mongers were a minority, but you knew they were there and it made life a bit difficult at times.

How long have you lived there ..... if it has been a while the chances are that there are a number of people who already know about your problems - its a blokey thing to brag at the pub (been at the receiving end of that), but that doesn't make it easier for you.

Keep your head up, you have done nothing to be ashamed of - make your plans for a dignified retreat from the situation.  If you find you can't be dignified then follow him up the street or into the pub and deck him in front of his mates (a piece of 4x2 should do the trick).

All jokes aside, stay in touch with us ... we are all good listeners.

Cheers .... Shirl xx

Hi Mickey,

Sounds like you are working it out.  You must be a very fit person.  I try and stay pretty fit too.  I was doing two Personal Training sessions, playing tennis and dragon boat paddling a week.  Working full-time and all this has paid a toll on my health.  I also have been doing quite a few trips to Melbourne.  Grandchildren there.  I seem to be coping lots of illness and they won't lift for a long time.  Keep up your exercise routine - it is very good for your mind as well.  My husband and I are hoping on doing the around Australia trip in a couple of years.  Bit sad that you are stuck in Katherine - very small community and I understand your comments about the health workers.  Seems like your husband has his own set of demons.  As I've said before when you are faced with a life threatening illness/disease/accident it really makes you look at things differently.  Fortunately for me it has all been positive.  But I do have a healthy husband for now. Not sure which way it would go for him if he became sick.  Keep your dreams/goals alive - it will keep you inspired and determined to achieve. XLeonie

Good morning Leonie, thank U again for your kind supportive words. Yes I ahve already started to do something I love. It is cycling. I ride a normal upright bike sometimes but my love for cycling comes with riding a recumbent. I have done a lot of touring on my "Roger" I have always wanted to ride from Perth to Melbourne ans am now setting my sights on that. Hoping to be fit enough early part of next year when weather is most suited. I am currently living in Katherine NT. Am from Vic. but we were travelling round OZ in motorhome. Ron had heart attack 2yr ago and underwnt open heart, but was soon in good recovery mode. He heals very quick. Then we hung around here whilst I continued to train for Kokoda  which I did March 2009. 6 weeks upon my return fron PNG was when I was diagnosed. I am sure Ron was not unfaithful to me then. But this si a side of him I have never ever seen before. And you are right he will do it again. Financially I am stuck here. But I will definately be out from here before the wet season really kicks in bout end November. I only have 1 real friend here I can confide in. As for professional advice. Forget it. I work at a reputed welfare/charity store and we have health professionals/welfare workers come in regular and they openly discuss clients cases. This is one of those towns where everyone knows all. I am not prepared to advertise my marriage probs with the town. But yeah I had considered talking to a professional many times. I have found that by blurting it out on this site and to a good friend (email) in Vic it is helping heaps. I will keep in touch Regards Mickey

Hello Shirl, well at least you put a big smile on my face when I read the bottom of your email....the play dough figure really has made my day...I will keep in contact. Thank You Mickey