Forum Discussion
Megs04
7 years agoMember
Im alone and dont want to burden others
Hi all. I was diagnosed Wednesday. Had to tell kids parents and a few friends. had MRI CT Bone scan waiting a week for results. Now have to go xmas shopping. Its exhausting mentally physically and emotionally. when yiu tell people you have to support and manage their stuff too.
I feel alone. Im single and each morning i wake up and cry. Its really hard to see the point. I was already stressed about money my job and was having some negative thoughts. I get heaps of people survive and to use strategies to manage my mental health but i just feel out of sorts. So reading other posts. I get emotions can be a mess. Im trying to get on with life but my flight fight response is through the roof. Dose any one relate to this or have any ideas.
Thanks for listening
I feel alone. Im single and each morning i wake up and cry. Its really hard to see the point. I was already stressed about money my job and was having some negative thoughts. I get heaps of people survive and to use strategies to manage my mental health but i just feel out of sorts. So reading other posts. I get emotions can be a mess. Im trying to get on with life but my flight fight response is through the roof. Dose any one relate to this or have any ideas.
Thanks for listening
50 Replies
- Riki_BCNAMemberHi @Megs04 sending you a pm
- arpieMemberSo Sorry to hear about your daughter,@Megs04 .... sadly, it is more stress & pressure that you just don't need right now. I hope she can pull up HER big girl pants, to help YOU get thru this!
I hope you do ring the helpline & chat with someone who can talk you thru it, so you can find a happier place - or give you techniques to help cope, specially over Xmas & New Year.
Take care, and know that we are here for you xxx - Megs04MemberPs and im having to support her back lol
- Megs04MemberIm not upset with her i feel bad for her. As she's grieving and trying to support me too its crazy. Thanks for the link 😊
- iserbrownMemberAs @soldiercrab has said please don't be upset with your friend. It's the burden of knowing and not sharing can be just as hard.
Here's a link from the BCNA website
https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/talking-to-family-and-friends/
Ringing the helpline will hopefully give you some coping mechanisms
Take care - SoldierCrabMemberHI Megs04
it is a horrible time when you are first diagnosed add to that any other health issues and it just makes it all hard.
I am sure you friend is struggling with holding your diagnosis to herself. Don't hold it against her that she broke down and told her parents if they are supportive that is good as she needs support in her own way about your diagnosis.
To help me at the start feel in control I went and got my Will sorted and guardianship for my boys (they have special needs) that way I knew if the worse happened I was sorted. it is a horrible thing to have to think about but it gave me some sense of control in a situation where we have little power but to Do as the medical team suggests if we want to beat this Bitch of a thing.
We understand the sense of emotional turmoil we all face when we are diagnosed. I like you am Alone I had 3 children at home still 15, 17, 25 The 15 yr old being the eldest functionally as the boys don't function at their age. It was hard I would cry in the shower or in bed at night into my pillow so they didn't hear me as I didn't want them stressing any more than they already were.
Lying in bed in the night hours or early morning worrying can be so hard.
Everyone here understands the angst of diagnosis and will help you through this time.
By all means reach out and call the Cancer Council Helpline 13 11 20 if you feel the needOpen 9 am till 5 pm during Christmas & New Year, closed only on public holidays
https://www.cancer.org.au/about-us/state-and-territory-councils/
Soldiercrab hugs
- Megs04MemberHi everyone and thanks. Im crying right now. Its the morning and i feel sad all over again. I was meant to go my good friend (since we were teens) yesterday for her family xmas lunch. She hss supported me the most so far. She lives in the country..My 19 year old daughter is an internaliser and she founf out 2 dsys before my she hsd binge eating disorder. So she had an anxiety attsck and couldnt go i was already feeling overwhelmed at the thought of socializing. So i messaged my friend saying not going. She messged me just now saying she broke down when i coukdnt go snd told her parents.and broke my trust. Its just so shit how this effects everyone.and it makes you feel more alone. Cause you have to support them too and feelbad for them. Ps done with this already. I think ill ring the help line you have all advised me. I need someone not emotional to off load too.
- NefertariMemberMegs04 I so wish I could give you a hug :) Great advice and support as usual from everyone on the forum.
With my rotten sleeping I do tend to stay offline at night because it stimulates me but sometimes it's enough for me to just read someones thoughts on here and I feel less anxious. Thanks Sister for that advice <3
Please reach out here or the Cancer Council Helpline, you are definitely surrounded by people who care. - SisterMemberFor the newbies, head over to the "Night Howls" discussion if you're awake in the middle of the night and just want to reach out (or during the day, for that matter). I don't get there as much now as I did but it certainly helped when I had no specific question but just wanted to connect with someone else who was as wakeful as me.
- Beryl_C_MemberThese early days, before you have a 'plan' are the worst. YES! to phoning the Cancer Council Helpline. I had a masectomy the week before Xmas and did not get pathology results until Jan.10th. I found myself feeling weepy at really odd times, what did I do? Let the tears flow for a bit and then suggested to myself that I get on with the day which included making that phone call. It turned out to be my major support - so practical and empathetic. xBeryl