Im alone and dont want to burden others

Hi @Megs04, sending you a private message

The others have all given you some words of wisdom.  It is hard, particularly at this time of year.  I was in hospital recovering from surgery this time last year.  My advice would be to keep everything as simple and relaxing as possible.  Be honest with those close to you that you can only cope with so much and no more.  Talk to your GP about help with sleep if you can.  Ask someone who you trust to be your conduit to the rest of the world - it can be really exhausting telling people and having to be "on" when they want to talk to you.  Apart from my family and my boss, I only told two close friends, initially, and asked them to spread the word but also to tell people that I did not want to be contacted until I was ready.  Then I started a blog to keep friends, family and colleagues up to speed about my treatment.  I know that you're probably feeling a range of emotions and veering from fog to despair.  It does get easier when you have a plan of treatment.

hi Megs04
I hear you it can be more stressful when we are single. 
I want to encourage you that I got thru this single with 3 kids at home 2 with special needs. 

the ladies have all given you some great advice sorry I was offline when PrimeK tagged me earlier. I will be online a bit later just about to go and do dinner. 

Below are a couple of links to help you find your way around the forum and also how to find a breast care nurse and how to order a MY journey Kit if you haven't got one yet. 

It can be a whirlwind when we first get a diagnosed.... Breathe and take it one step at a time. 

How to post on the main forum – use this link to get to the main forum and begin a new post. https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/post/discussion

 

Navigating the online community formerly the what and how thread.

http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/14879/navigating-the-online-community-formerly-the-what-and-how-thread

Breast Care Nurses

https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspx 

My Journey online tool and other resources. 

My Journey Online Tool resources
https://myjourney.org.au/hp/step5

https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/

BCNA Helpline 1800 500 258

If you have any questions, concerns or require any further information or support please call 1800 500 258. BCNA’s helpline will now be open from 9am-6pm Monday to Thursday and 9am to 5pm Fridays

@Megs04
It's a so and so waiting for results. A plan will give you some direction but in the meantime you have the distraction of Christmas and good times with family and friends.  It's probably hard to imagine at present but you will get through!  Come on here as often as you need and vent away as we get it and will help you through!
In the meantime if you are feeling totally stressed by it all then consider making someone in your circle your go to person who may be able to go to appointments with you and be the messenger rather than you repeating to everyone and having to pick up their reactions and deal with them!
Hopefully the link below to the BCNA website will give you some guidance

https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/new-diagnosis/

Take care

@arpie pleased to read that long awaited appointment has happened.  Best wishes for results

Sorry to see you here, @Megs04 - You are in the right spot for some support and info.  

Just jump on here for any questions you have to ask & there'll be a bunch of people able to help you out - day and night.

Sometimes I wake up & watch the dawn - even after a storm, the dawn is such a beautiful thing.  Things WILL get better - it will just take a bit of time.

Once you see your surgeon & get a plan - things will start slotting into place.  It is a bugger being diagnosed just now with the public holidays & all - a few of us had to wait last year til the surgeons came back from holidays before their first appointment (me included) ....

Do you have someone to attend your appointments and results with?  A good friend or relative ..... it is always good to have someone there to listen 'on your behalf' as it can be stressful on your own.

The waiting for results is the ALWAYS the PITS ..... I had a 'new' biopsy yesterday, so am now waiting (alongside you) for results, too  xx  (I am hoping end of next week, but who knows!?)  I am trying not to stress about it too much.  I do this by doing stuff I love doing - playing ukulele or going fishing!  What are your favourite pastimes?  Do you sew, or are you an artist?  Show us your stuff!

Have you been given the contact of a Breast Cancer Nurse yet?  They can be a wonderful source of information & support as well.

Emotions are such a weird thing - and the track we are on is a real roller coaster ...... you can be 'on top of it' for 23/7 ... then there is just that one hour that upsets you ..... a good cry is often quite cathartic, so don't stress about it - it is better to let it all out.  Our brains can be our own worst enemy just now - God knows mine's been going in overdrive for the last 3 weeks whilst waiting for my biopsy appointment!  :(    

You just need to do what is right for YOU right now - and that may not entail going out Xmas shopping!!  Good old cheques may come in handy now - I bet you have some spare Xmas Cards?  (I am 'old tech' - I don't 'do' online banking & stuff!!)

Take care, we're here to help you get thru the next couple of weeks .... 

Thinking of you & sending some well deserved hugs xxx

Thanks Anne wise words 😊

@Megs04 - Take heed of primek's words !  We have all been where you are and we are still here to tell the story so take a deep breath and stop trying to be perfect.  Thinking of you.  Anne

@LisaJHM I thought perhaps you would be a good co-supporter and are just a little ahead for Megs04

Hi and Welcome. It is such a difficult time at the beginning. I expect your sleep has been non existant with all this going on too. Yes it's challenging telling family. By day...pretend all will be okay. ..by night ...awake and either googling or just imagining what might happen.

It's okay not to do it all.
Just write some lists of essential things you have to do. You need to look after you. 
If all else fails...hand made gift certificates and going shopping individually with your kids of what they want might be an option. (I recall doing this when broke...a promise of a meal and a movie ...for instance)

@SoldierCrab ...do you have suggestions.

This time of year is even harder as the professional support networks available also go on leave. But we are here and will help you as we can. Kath x