Living a nightmare. DX 26 June IDC stage 2....WTF!!! This can't be happening to me.......reality check......it really is happening and I'm not going to wake up from this nightmare to what my life was. I'm going to wake up to a whole new world, one which I'm scared I can't navigate through. It feels like an endless road with nowhere to get off, nowhere to stop and take a breather. I don't want to prepare myself for surgery although I know I have to, I just don't know how. Will I lose my identity because I'm losing a breast? Will part of who I am be lost when my breast is gone? I don't know and there's no way to find out. Will I have the courage to allow my partner to see me as I will be? Will I be able to look at myself?? So many questions that I have no answers to, that no one else can answer for me. Fear of the unknown keeps my brain in overdrive and renders me sleepless most nights :-(

HI Aussie Oi Yes we all hate this forced choices of Breast Cancer and the unknown please let us help you Vent ask and get some reassurances that you can get through this with support from loved ones and on here. I will let you know I was diagnosed back in sept 2012 Triple Negative BC grade 3.... I am cancer free now. I chose a double mastectomy and then chemo and radiation .with NO reconstruction.. that was my choice in the decision making. This community here on BCNA is great at listening supporting and sharing the ups and downs of this horrible journey none of us would chose if we had a choice. Please ask for advice. Do you have a MY Journey Kit ? you can order them here on BCNA Do you have a breast care nurse have you been put in touch with her? have you got support at home? Remember breathe in and breathe out .... and only bite off the chunk you need to each day. we are all a friendly bunch who are happy to share encourage cry and vent with each other Happy to chat and message privately if you need to do that... Hope to be able to chat with you more Soldier Crab

Welcome to the site, yes it is a shock to our lives to be told you have bc. The docs stand there and tell you and all you can do is sit there in disbelief, did I hear right. Your questions yes you still are you, your breasts are a part of you but they don't define who you are. I can't tell you how your partner will react, i can only tell you about my experience. I started my trip in early 2014, over 2 years I had chemo and herceptin also 7 surgeries which included a mastectomy and reconstruction My scars ar fading, I was only looking at them this morning.thinking how much they have faded. I can honestly say yes it has changed my life but I'm still here with good days and bad. I'm back at work and trying to enjoy every day. Try and take it one day at a time we never know what tomorrow will bring, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take care visit often lots of people on this site at diffrent stages and a understanding of how you are feeling xx

You can get through this. I had a mastectomy nearly 30 years ago. Yes I lost my breast but I didn't loose my life. If you choose to have a reconstruction done, great results can be had. I didn't have a reconstruction for over 2 years but once I did I was happy. Please try and stay positive. Julie

Hi Aussie - yep, it's a terrible, awful, dreadful shock. I will pass on the best piece of advice I was given - by a nurse - you just have to take it one day and one step at a time. You will get through it. You can navigate it. You will find support. You'll go on a roller coaster for a while as you deal with the surgery and the aftermath, but the physical stuff will then begin to settle down, and you'll be able to deal with the emotional stuff. As far as you can, I'd park the emotional stuff until you've dealt with the physical. I found I just couldn't deal with it all at once. You're probably still in shock - it can take months to wear off - so just focus on what you really need to focus on, which is the surgery. Yes, it's very sad to lose a breast, I did, but you will get used to it, and realise that it was part of you, but it's not who you are. It will take time to get used to the 'new you', and may take a bit of time for your partner to get accustomed too. But work on it together and you will get there. One thing I did after 6 months: a very challenging walk over a mountain in NZ. When I got to the end, I realised I had reclaimed my body from months of medical probing. It was a very powerful feeling. It helped enormously in me getting myself back together physically. And yes, I had difficulty looking at myself in the mirror for a time, but I have adjusted. I also have a new partner who really doesn't give a toss about the look of my reconstructed breasts. Do seek counselling too - it can really help with the physical, mental and emotional adjustments. We've all walked the road you're starting on, and we've all got through it in our own way. You will too. Trust me. Take care of yourself, xx

The beginning of this journey just sets your head in a spin , you will have many sleepless nights. You will have many fears and you will have many unknowns. We all do. But you are stronger than you think. You are more than a breast. Yes it is a huge part of your sexual being but you can and will adapt. Reconstruction is possible to help with that. Take each step at a time and deal with the emotions as they surface. Allow them to flow over you, acknowledge them and then they will settle again. Reach out to family, friends and your treating team. Allow them to walk you through this difficult journey. We are here to listen abd answer questions you might have. Kath x

I'm a newbie | BCNA Online Network

13 Replies

jjshep
Member
9 years ago
You can get through this. I had a mastectomy nearly 30 years ago. Yes I lost my breast but I didn't loose my life. If you choose to have a reconstruction done, great results can be had. I didn't have a reconstruction for over 2 years but once I did I was happy. Please try and stay positive.

Julie
rowdy
Member
9 years ago
Welcome to the site, yes it is a shock to our lives to be told you have bc. The docs stand there and tell you and all you can do is sit there in disbelief, did I hear right.

Your questions yes you still are you, your breasts are a part of you but they don't define who you are. I can't tell you how your partner will react, i can only tell you about my experience. I started my trip in early 2014, over 2 years I had chemo and herceptin also 7 surgeries which included a mastectomy and reconstruction My scars ar fading, I was only looking at them this morning.thinking how much they have faded. I can honestly say yes it has changed my life but I'm still here with good days and bad. I'm back at work and trying to enjoy every day.

Try and take it one day at a time we never know what tomorrow will bring, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Take care visit often lots of people on this site at diffrent stages and a understanding of how you are feeling xx
SoldierCrab
Member
9 years ago
HI Aussie Oi

Yes we all hate this forced choices of Breast Cancer and the unknown please let us help you Vent ask and get some reassurances that you can get through this with support from loved ones and on here.

I will let you know I was diagnosed back in sept 2012 Triple Negative BC grade 3.... I am cancer free now.

I chose a double mastectomy and then chemo and radiation .with NO reconstruction.. that was my choice in the decision making. This community here on BCNA is great at listening supporting and sharing the ups and downs of this horrible journey none of us would chose if we had a choice.

Please ask for advice. Do you have a MY Journey Kit ? you can order them here on BCNA

Do you have a breast care nurse have you been put in touch with her?

have you got support at home?

Remember breathe in and breathe out .... and only bite off the chunk you need to each day.

we are all a friendly bunch who are happy to share encourage cry and vent with each other

Happy to chat and message privately if you need to do that...

Hope to be able to chat with you more

Soldier Crab

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I'm a newbie

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