Forum Discussion
(Hopefully) At the end of my journey
Hi everyone. I have been reading all your posts (thank you) and never wrote anything myself until now. I was diagnosed with a pretty small but aggressive tumour last June, and pretty quickly moved to a lumpectomy, then 4 dense doses of AC chemo, followed by a planned 12 weeks of Taxol (I only got to 8 due to peripheral neuropathy), then 22 doses of radiotherapy (including 6 'boosts').
I had some rotten times, AC chemo was difficult- I tried to work while I was having it but had to go on leave at about treatment 4. I had issues with almost all my procedures- my hook line had to be done twice (nearly 2.5hrs), I became febrile and had to be admitted to hospital, my veins collapsed, my PICC line removal was difficult to say the least and I ended up in hospital for emergency surgery, and right now I am battling the radiation burns. I lost ALL my hair, couldn't taste anything, felt nauseous and exhausted and am still having a heap of side effects. I live alone, so looked after myself pretty much all the way along, although I had heaps of support from my sister and some very good friends.
But the most important thing I wanted to say to anyone starting out- nothing that happened to me was as bad as I thought it would be. I used mindful and meditation techniques when I was having my procedures and they worked for me- well most of the time. I fought a battle in my mind with cancer every day and I am so proud that I feel like I beat it many more days than it beat me. I just made up my mind that it wouldn't defeat me on a daily basis.
I had a great surgeon, a wonderful oncologist who provided a positive and confident outlook, and all the doctors & nurses at the hospital were gold. I thought the chemo ward would be sad and upsetting- instead I found it to be a place of laughter and hope. I used a mix of public and private treatment and still see somewhere around 13 medical and allied health professionals while holding down a full time job.
I didn't write this for anyone to say I did well. I wrote this to say DO NOT BE AFRAID. You can do this and there is lots of help if you need it. Reach out to this community, to a breast care nurse (thanks McGrath Foundation), to your family & friends, to the volunteers, a psychologist- people want to help you.
Then when you get better, you can pass it on. Pay it forward.
All the best of luck from me. Believe your mantra- mine has been:
I had some rotten times, AC chemo was difficult- I tried to work while I was having it but had to go on leave at about treatment 4. I had issues with almost all my procedures- my hook line had to be done twice (nearly 2.5hrs), I became febrile and had to be admitted to hospital, my veins collapsed, my PICC line removal was difficult to say the least and I ended up in hospital for emergency surgery, and right now I am battling the radiation burns. I lost ALL my hair, couldn't taste anything, felt nauseous and exhausted and am still having a heap of side effects. I live alone, so looked after myself pretty much all the way along, although I had heaps of support from my sister and some very good friends.
But the most important thing I wanted to say to anyone starting out- nothing that happened to me was as bad as I thought it would be. I used mindful and meditation techniques when I was having my procedures and they worked for me- well most of the time. I fought a battle in my mind with cancer every day and I am so proud that I feel like I beat it many more days than it beat me. I just made up my mind that it wouldn't defeat me on a daily basis.
I had a great surgeon, a wonderful oncologist who provided a positive and confident outlook, and all the doctors & nurses at the hospital were gold. I thought the chemo ward would be sad and upsetting- instead I found it to be a place of laughter and hope. I used a mix of public and private treatment and still see somewhere around 13 medical and allied health professionals while holding down a full time job.
I didn't write this for anyone to say I did well. I wrote this to say DO NOT BE AFRAID. You can do this and there is lots of help if you need it. Reach out to this community, to a breast care nurse (thanks McGrath Foundation), to your family & friends, to the volunteers, a psychologist- people want to help you.
Then when you get better, you can pass it on. Pay it forward.
All the best of luck from me. Believe your mantra- mine has been:
- Things could be worse
- Accept the things you cannot change
- Do not live your life in fear
24 Replies
- I really hope it does get easier for your wife @strongtogether and my thoughts are with you both. This disease truly sucks but keep your eye on the prize. xo
- Best wishes @strongtogether
- So sorry to hear that @strongtogethe. Give our best. I hope it gets easier. K xox
Hi folks.
My wife had her first Taxol Carboplatin treatment last week. It was a rough weekend with pain, nausea, headache. I was hoping this would be a bit easier than the AC. I am still hopeful that it will, and that its just a case of getting the wheels back on the tracks. I guess its nice to read - again - and this is at least the third time - that its not all going to go smoothly. There will be bumps and bruises.
Love to you all.
- Just an update to everyone- I recently passed my first year mammogram and ultrasound. My hair is back, and apart from the peripheral neuropathy in my feet and fingers, I feel great.
Tamoxifen is a bit difficult, but 'things could be worse'. I am alive and living life to the full, and seem to be free of this cancer.
Hang in there everyone. You can do this. - Catpie,thanks so much for this. I am right at the start of my journey. Your words are perfect for me right now. I’ve saved your post to look at when I need to.
Warmest regards Caz1 xx :) - Your treatment schedule sounds similar to mine, although I am one round off finishing chemo before radiation. I too found the vibe in the Day Infusion room was positive and supportive. I do relaxation and meditation and attend a support group run by my breast care nurse ( thanks to the McGrath Foundation). I know what you mean, don't need eople to say well done, just to let others know that with support and a good mindset you can cope much better than I thought I would.
My mantra is
FAITH - have faith in my medical team
TRUST - trust their decisions
BELIEVE - believe everything will be ok. - Thank you for your post. I will take all you have send of board.
- @CatPie What an inspiring post! Love & strength to you. Your mantras really hit home. I believe strongly in what you wrote. No matter how rocky your road, someone out there is doing it tougher.
Acceptance of the cards we have been dealt. Dont fuel our cancer about stressing about what we cannot change no matter how much it sucks! Deal with the here & now & the factors we do know & not about things that may happen in the future that may not even eventuate.
What a road you have ridden but one thing that resonated with me is "Paying it forward". I live by this a lot & also love the movie of the same name, if you feel like a BIG cry. My journey has been quite easy but i would like to think that the little I have learnt, I can pass on to others & give them advice, encouragement, support & love. Its the best feeling to know you have helped someone a little through all the ordeals we have experienced & the knowledge we have gained. It sort of lessens the pain we are feeling.
I wish you all the best. You are an inspiration & you are already helping others because of your post & that is a wonderful gift. love & hugs xx - I agree with your comments, I am not planning for the 12 treatments ahead I am thinking maybe 10 and then a break and the radiation. I really want to finish at the end of the year so I can have January off before heading back to work in February. Thanks ladies
