Here we (I) go

Next consultation with radio oncologist tomorrow - hopefully then we'll have a plan for treatment.
I think the reality of the waiting for the result about chemo has finally hit me.
I felt so buoyed on Saturday, did some chores and had an early dinner with friends. Yesterday - I crashed. Absolutely exhausted. Felt like i'd been hit by a truck. The past 8 weeks have been so full on - from diagnosis to surgery to treatment options - i think the reality of what's happened and what is still happening has finally started to sink in. I'm trying to be kind to myself and take good care of me before radio starts, but i already feel so fatigued. Perhaps it's a combination of everything and my body telling me to take it easy, there's still (quite) a way to go. 
Gosh...

Fantastic news a huge relief I know .
Good luck next step.

@arpie I think it's more that there a scheme where I'll be able to apply to get access to the medication before it's on the PBS, more an early access scheme.  Just the timing is incredibly perfect!

Woohoo!!  Great news @cactus xx.    Does that mean you'll be on the trial?

take care xx

GREAT NEWS!
Oncotype came back with a very low recurrence score (10) so no benefit from chemotherapy.
I'll be seeing my radio oncologist next week to get ready for radio, then when that's done, back to the med onc for aromatase inhibitors, an injection to ensure menopause (some kind of something to support bones (bisphosphonate), and a new medication that's currently not available on PBS (Natalee trial / results?).
I felt like I'd been hit by a truck - the relief felt like such a massive load had been lifted. 
I am so incredibly grateful and lucky I was able to get the test, I am very aware that this is not right nor possible for everyone. I'm incredibly lucky that my genes went that way too - I realise that this isn't the case again.
So very very relieved.
Kelly xxx

Thanks @Pommy8
I must admit, the anxiety yesterday and last night was rather acute. Dug deep into my 'toolbox'.
Cleaned the fridge, had a warm shower, even played a game on my phone (which I had to download as I don't have any!) to keep my mind off things.
I'm prepared - mentally - as much as I can be, I think. Or maybe I'm telling myself that so that I don't let fear of what's to come overcome me.
I know from reading many posts on here that a lot of people have done this before, come through it, are doing great. I need to remind myself of that - constantly.
It's the absolute powerlessness right now for me to have any impact on the outcome that i'm struggling with, that loss of control. 
Harumph.
I'll update my thread after the appointment today.
(another date to add to the brain: 31 October, found weird dimple on boob, 22 November diagnosed withe breast cancer, 30 November surgery, 4 January - next phase of treatment will be ...)

Good luck with results x

Thanks @arpie
I actually listened to her podcast about anxiety last night. I really like how she gave the informed 'psychologist' perspective, but then gave examples of how she personally handled issues from her own experience.
I also respected that she was (seemingly) very honest and did not dumb down any of the the feelings or understandings.
I'll take a listen to that one too.
Appreciate - truly - the support from this network.
Kelly

@cactusk ..... all the best for your Med Onc appointment on Thurs xx.  They'll take you thru all the options and explain it fully.

Try not worry yourself leading up to it xx  I think they really only do phone calls or telehealth consults if there is a Covid issue or similar ....  

Have you listened to the Charlotte Tottman Podcasts on What you don't know until you Do?  They are terrific - she is a BC psychologist who was diagnosed a few years ago & had a double mastectomy, no reconstruction.  
The podcasts cover pretty well every emotion that most of us have gone thru since Day 1 of diagnosis. (There are 2 series)
https://www.bcna.org.au/resource-hub/podcasts/season-1-episode-1-d-day-diagnosis-shock/

You can read a bit more about her here too .... (click on the PDF document below - an interview with The Herald.)

take care

UPDATE: Oncotype test is back - am going to see the Medical Oncologist on Thursday. Only 2 more sleeps.
Now i'm stressing thinking she would call me if it were OK - but given I have to go in, perhaps that means it has come back with a result that means chemo?
I realise that I don't know until I know, and that only 2 more days is much better than 6 days (or longer) but still. 
Breathing, will go for a walk this afternoon.
Utilising all the anxiety tools in my repertoire for this one.
K