Hello to all the strong women out there!

@Zoffiel Omg your ex... That is staggering. I am lost for words...

@Sister Brilliant idea! Blog. I am thinking of documenting my journey as well. Everyone learns something from it and its not a lesson just for us, but for everyone around us. Sometimes I wonder if its happening to show others around us, to appreciate us a little more  :|  Because sometimes we absolutely get taken for granted! 

@Zoffiel Thanks for sharing that. Wow the ex is something else *rolling eye emoji*  Thanks for all your advice....taken on board. <3  :)

@kmakm Accepting help....I am not good at. Going to have to tho. A big lesson for me!  <3

I delivered the news to my friends by WhatsApp. That gave me the space to engage with the response when I felt I was able. My husband told my parents and sister. I told my children with my husband. I was very angry (bad family history) and needed a few weeks before I could talk to anyone. This time is all about you, so do what feels right for you and you slone. Don't hesitate to ask for help, or accept help when it's offered. As difficult as it is, it can and will make a big difference. Hang in there, K xox

To tell or not to tell...excellent question.
BC V1 I was a single mother working in a public library, I didn't really have much choice and was very open about what was going on. I like wigs but couldn't bear them in a heated environment so I was the bald bookmobile woman. It was fine for the most part.

The other part was situations like my mother telling everyone she knew, furnishing them with my phone number and instructing them to ring me. WTF? Then there was my sons father who wanted to know not if, but when, I was going to die as he'd planned a holiday to the USA and who did I leave my house to? I wasn't the only one missing chunks of hair after that conversation.

BC V2 I've been more circumpspect. I wasn't working so that removed some complications and I only told people as I actually came across them. I had to tell Mum, AKA Radio Orange (broadcasting live from the nursing home dining room) but threatened to tell any random old ladies who rang me that she had dementia and I was perfectly fine. The problem with this approach is it leaves a lot to chance and you don't control the situation or the conversation. Reports of my death have been much exaggerated. It can also make people a bit snooty and wounded because you didn't tell them first off. Too bad, it's not about them.

It's not a bad idea to develop a little spiel that you can deliver in one breath. You can chuck it at people and escape quickly if you need to. Cancer has its advantages for the socially awkward--no one argues with a woman who mutters 'so sorry, got to go' while turning an interesting shade of green. Good luck, this shit ain't easy. Mxx

@iSara  It's too hard telling people all of the time.  Other people have different ways but this is what I did (and am still doing): 
I told my managers at work (by phone and email as everything happened so quickly); I told the kids (on the way from Breastscreen to the GPs - had no choice because they had to be picked up from school and we had to rush to the doctor's); my husband told his family; I rang two key friends and told them... I explained as much as possible, through tears on both sides of the phone, and asked them to contact everyone else in the friendship groups.  They became my gatekeepers for that initial period.  I asked them to tell people that I wasn't ready to be contacted as it would be too hard to constantly have people asking how I was going, particularly if I was having a rare moment when I wasn't thinking about the cancer, but that I would use them to send out information to others.  Then I set up a blog on wordpress - it's kind of half informative and half diary.  I use it to provide updates about my physical condition and treatment, but also to express some of the emotional side so needless to say, it can get pretty dark at times, for which I don't apologise.  I have provided the link to my family, friends, and colleagues so that they can see where I am.  It is published using obscurity for security - I don't really mind who sees it but I figure it's not really of interest to anyone who is not interested in me, or who is not going through something similar.

@Rosie_BCNA thanks so much. 
I’m putting a semi plan on how I’m going to tell my boys and also my ex. (No words) just in case the boys go to him, as a backup. 
This will be so useful, thank you for sharing. <3

I keep wondering do I need to tell people, who do I tell, who don’t I. 
Ahhhh too many things to think about.
The few I have told are in shock and then say you poor thing. I just say, I’m strong and I can deal with it. 

I’m absolutely playing the I’m tough card with everyone. But only u ladies know...inside I’m a complicated mess of emotions. 

Thanks for replying ladies...means more than u know. Xxxxx Sara 

@JJ70 See two posts above. K xox

Thanks for that link info @Rosie_BCNA A woman at my exercise class is interested in viewing it.

@Zoffiel, @iSara, and everyone else on this thread - the speaker at the Plan B Conference on Saturday who talked about the importance of communicating openly with children is Dr. Carrie Lethborg. The webcast from the Plan B conference will be available to watch online through the website by the end of the week so you can listen to Carrie's presentation along with excellent speakers covering exercise, nutrition, lymphoedema, sexuality and intimacy, tips about workplaces and other issues relevant to living well after a breast cancer diagnosis. The link will be available at https://www.bcna.org.au/news-events/events/information-forums/webcasts/ There is already one available for people newly diagnosed with early breast cancer called Just diagnosed: what's next? which may also be helpful for you @iSara. Best wishes, you are in good hands with your fellow travellers on this site, R :)