First time I have cried

Dear @MisseMooks, being alone can really suck sometimes. I hope you take up the offers of tea above and do tell your friends how you are feeling. Research shows people feel more fulfilled in life when they are helping others in some way so in a way you’ll be doing them a service by letting them help you! I’m not meaning to be trite, really I would hate to think that a friend of mine had felt this way and not told me. 
I also go up and down with anxiety and have been struggling in the last few months with a combination of difficult boss and BC diagnosis. I have DMX on 5/2, and despite doing my best with meditation, medication and self care, am not sleeping too well. I live alone too. A couple of things have helped my mood: I recently fostered a rescue cat and his bonkers antics have been a good distraction; I like sewing and singing and have been doing small projects when I can. Also venting to a friend who has been through a similar cancer experience. 
Please don’t suffer in silence, keep venting to this group and accept offers of help and listening ears. Hugs to you.  Annie

I live on my own, and went through 18 months of active treatment.  I can understand your concern about being alone, it feels like it will be forever at first and can be very scary to have to deal with everything on your own.  Most here will tell you that the first chemo treatment is the worst in terms of not knowing what to expect.  You are over that hurdle! :)

Do you have someone taking you to your chemo treatments?  My main concern was having a friend take me to chemo and bring me home again.  Everything else I did for myself, surprisingly I could keep my household going on my own albeit not as pristine as I would like, but who cares. If I couldn't and needed help, that is ok also, no rules and no medals given out on this "journey", so do what is good for you and your health. 

I was very scared when they mentioned the cumulative effects of chemo, and I had visions of myself not being able to keep doing things for myself, but I just took a day at a time.  I got through, but had a backup plan and had a bedroom set up for a friend to stay overnight if needed.  I didn't need it, but I also at times felt sorry for myself, because it was tough going.


Can I tell you, when you finish your treatment and look back you will amaze yourself at how strong you are.  Jump on the forum anytime you need to vent, share or inform.  Best wishes for your continuing treatment.

Tell your friends you are scared to be alone. I remember my first chemo. My husband there when I had it. Sister in afternoon but husband worked late, I felt weird and scared, and even though I have older boys I wouldn't tell them that. I was really frightened and ended up ringing him to come home. 
I told my sister though, she is more friend than sister and she spent so much time with me. She wanted to. She felt helpless and it at least gave her a job. She dragged me out for cuppas. She took me for bloods. We went to pool in safe time.

Friends, true friends want to help. Please tell them. Their decision or offer is due to the love for you. It's not forever. Just for now. 

Hey Miss E, you lean on US. That's what this website's for. Breast cancer is isolating and lonely at the best of times, let alone when you have no family with you.

There are lots of services available, and support. The Look Good Feel Better foundation is great fun, and I found it surprisingly comforting. There is comfort on meeting people on the same road as you. Plus you get some fab free make-up!

https://lgfb.org.au/

The Think Pink Foundation (in Docklands) is excellent. It provides all sorts of free services and workshops to people with breast cancer. They're really nice and kind there with a breast care nurse on staff.

https://www.thinkpink.org.au/

I am in the outer-east of Melbourne @MisseMooks. Would you like to meet for a cuppa one day? I'll DM you.

We can't solve your living situation but we can be with you every step of the way. We've got you. Big hug, K xox

Hi Miss E,
Sometimes words aren't quite right.  I had the same cancer you do.  It was the most surreal experience.  I feel for you being without family, but your friends are there as are we!  One step at a time, one treatment at a time.  Think of it like a mountain your climbing.  And if you feel alone, reach out to us.  Huge hugs and remember, you are not alone.  

Hi Miss E
Lots of hugs to you, remember you are not alone.  Everyone in this network is with you.  I have also suffered from anxiety and panic attacks at different points in my life.  When I was diagnosed one of my friends suggested tapping.  I now use this every time I am stressed.  

Hey LMK74..first chemo wasnt pretty to say the least. Fatigue and nausea got to me in the end and today I just felt in a bit of a heap   .. the positives were no vomitting or the runs ...

Hi Arpie,
Thanks for reaching out !
Im in Eastern Suburbs of Melbourne Vic..appreciate any services you can recommend :)
  

Yep I get it. Ditto anxiety. Have also battled with it most of my life. At times to the point of not leaving my house for days. It totally sucks. I promise it will get better as you settle into a routine and know what to expect. I hope your first chemo wasn't to bad.

Spot on LMK74, Im petrified !!can 
I also suffer from anxiety so as you can imagine , Ive been in panic mode since the first chemo session .. At the moment everything is hightened senses, feelings etc 
I have been on the anxiety train all my life and and finally felt I had a good grip on how to manage the anxiety ..via mindfullness .. now..life has decided my next challenge is BC.
Ive been in touch with team and they will look at the Dexamethasone and anti nausea meds as these can increase anxiety . 
I suspect that as I go down this journey, my mindfullness techniques will be eccelerated hopefully to a point where I can at least accept BC rather than resist it .     

Thank you for your supportive words, they are greatly appreciated