Hi Everyone I was diagnosed with HER2 Positive Breast Cancer a month ago ... some minor tears while having an appointment with my surgeon, but nothing significant in the way of tears until today ..I had my first chemo session Thursday , 09/1/20 , manged to get through the worst 2 days, Saturday and Sunday , no tears ..but today reality set in and I cant stop crying.I have no family here and I cant help but feel, if I had family living with me, this breast cancer journey would be easier..I dont know Friends have been wonderful and I feel grateful that they have been here for me and will be there for me in my journey...Im scared to be alone with what I think and feel. Being alone with my side affects frighten me, there's no one here to lean on for just a hug or to say , it will all be ok I dont want to become a burden on my friends and I cant expect them to move in with me , they have lives of their own that they need to continue with ..and I understand that ..Would love to hear from people who have lived on their own and how you have managed with your own person journey?Im open to listening to everyones comments and trying things out to make living alone with Breast Cancer not so scary RegardsMiss E

Hi @MisseMooks, welcome to the club no one wants to be in. Sorry you find yourself here. It's understandable how you feel and normal. Whenever your scared alone with your thoughts please come here and someone will always reply.Hugs Lisa

Dear @MisseMooks, being alone can really suck sometimes. I hope you take up the offers of tea above and do tell your friends how you are feeling. Research shows people feel more fulfilled in life when they are helping others in some way so in a way you’ll be doing them a service by letting them help you! I’m not meaning to be trite, really I would hate to think that a friend of mine had felt this way and not told me. I also go up and down with anxiety and have been struggling in the last few months with a combination of difficult boss and BC diagnosis. I have DMX on 5/2, and despite doing my best with meditation, medication and self care, am not sleeping too well. I live alone too. A couple of things have helped my mood: I recently fostered a rescue cat and his bonkers antics have been a good distraction; I like sewing and singing and have been doing small projects when I can. Also venting to a friend who has been through a similar cancer experience. Please don’t suffer in silence, keep venting to this group and accept offers of help and listening ears. Hugs to you. Annie

You're welcome and you can have all the hugs here from everyone. I'm single and live with my schizophrenia brother who was not much help. I understand feeling so scared and wondering what side effects you will get. After my first chemo I went home and was petrified I wouldn't wake up the next morning. Usually how the first chemo goes is how they will follow. Tell your team right away if meds are not working as they can be tweaked and changed. One day at a time lovely.

Tell your friends you are scared to be alone. I remember my first chemo. My husband there when I had it. Sister in afternoon but husband worked late, I felt weird and scared, and even though I have older boys I wouldn't tell them that. I was really frightened and ended up ringing him to come home. I told my sister though, she is more friend than sister and she spent so much time with me. She wanted to. She felt helpless and it at least gave her a job. She dragged me out for cuppas. She took me for bloods. We went to pool in safe time.Friends, true friends want to help. Please tell them. Their decision or offer is due to the love for you. It's not forever. Just for now.

I live on my own, and went through 18 months of active treatment. I can understand your concern about being alone, it feels like it will be forever at first and can be very scary to have to deal with everything on your own. Most here will tell you that the first chemo treatment is the worst in terms of not knowing what to expect. You are over that hurdle! :)Do you have someone taking you to your chemo treatments? My main concern was having a friend take me to chemo and bring me home again. Everything else I did for myself, surprisingly I could keep my household going on my own albeit not as pristine as I would like, but who cares. If I couldn't and needed help, that is ok also, no rules and no medals given out on this "journey", so do what is good for you and your health. I was very scared when they mentioned the cumulative effects of chemo, and I had visions of myself not being able to keep doing things for myself, but I just took a day at a time. I got through, but had a backup plan and had a bedroom set up for a friend to stay overnight if needed. I didn't need it, but I also at times felt sorry for myself, because it was tough going.Can I tell you, when you finish your treatment and look back you will amaze yourself at how strong you are. Jump on the forum anytime you need to vent, share or inform. Best wishes for your continuing treatment.

First time I have cried | BCNA Online Network

16 Replies

arpie
Member
6 years ago
SO sorry to see you here @MisseMooks - it is really tough when you don’t have family and friends around you when facing this treatment. :(

Were are you assigned a Breast Care Nurse? They can be invaluable in interpreting the ‘surgeon speak’ into something you can understand. The nurses at the chemo clinic are amazing also ... so if you have any questions, ask them as well.

Failing that, ring the help line here ..... 1800 500 258 ....

Where abouts are you living? (Twin or city?) We May have members nearby who can put you onto suitable services that may help you.

Big hugs coming your way xxx take care xx
MisseMooks
Member
6 years ago
Thank you for those wise words ... very helpful
LMK74
Member
6 years ago
You're welcome and you can have all the hugs here from everyone. I'm single and live with my schizophrenia brother who was not much help. I understand feeling so scared and wondering what side effects you will get. After my first chemo I went home and was petrified I wouldn't wake up the next morning. Usually how the first chemo goes is how they will follow. Tell your team right away if meds are not working as they can be tweaked and changed. One day at a time lovely.
Afraser
Member
6 years ago
Dear Miss E

I haven’t had the same experience of treatment without some family support but a cancer diagnosis frequently brings with it a rash of fears and uncertainties. Some of those are caused by the diagnosis itself, some by treatment and some are unanswered or unasked questions from life before diagnosis. And they can all crowd in when you are at your most vulnerable. So take things slowly and one at a time. Don’t try and sort your world on bad chemo days. Writing can sometimes help (never underestimate the therapeutic value of talking to yourself!). Releasing some of your feelings on paper can help you face them. But slowly. Let your friends take you away from it all sometimes - a day out, a funny film, whatever works for you at the time. As you get better accustomed to the idea of your diagnosis and your treatment, you will find yourself better equipped to deal with your fears and uncertainties. Cancer is not anyone’s chosen path to greater self knowledge and confidence, but little by little it can happen. Take one day at a time. Best wishes.
MisseMooks
Member
6 years ago
Luv that hug !! Thank you !
LMK74
Member
6 years ago
Hi @MisseMooks, welcome to the club no one wants to be in. Sorry you find yourself here. It's understandable how you feel and normal. Whenever your scared alone with your thoughts please come here and someone will always reply.
Hugs Lisa

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