Feelings of Panic

I was diagnosed with grade 3 stage 3 multifocal triple positive with nodes on the left in 2016. The MD team decided that chemo before surgery was best for me (58 at the time). To be honest, I was unconvinced, to say the least. I wanted it removed and I wanted it removed now. I secretly thought they were just tossing me a bone to keep me busy as the surgical lists were full (public patient), but I went with the plan. I had 4 X AC followed by 12 X Paclitaxol and Herceptin which continued for almost a year. After the Paclitaxol (so six months of chemo), I had a two week break followed by the surgery...bilateral mastectomy with node clearance on the left and sentinal nodes on the right. On the left affected side, the post surgical pathology showed there was no active cancer found at all, just the empty, dead cancer beds where the 3 tumours had been. Two affected nodes on that side were also cancer free. Again they could see only the empty space where the cancer had been. For my circumstance, it was explained to me that the cancer in my breast and nodes would not kill me, but that any cells from them which may already have gone walk about and set up shop elsewhere, most certainly could. I chose to have the right removed as well...my choice and for a number of reasons. I was not given radiotherapy due to other pre existing health conditions, so there was no "mopping up" for me in that regard. Now on Letrezole for ten years, and at the moment NED (no evidence of disease).