feeling super sad and crying all the time
Hi Everyone, I was diagnosed in April with her 2 breast cancer and had a lumpectomy 10 weeks ago. At the time I coped quite well I am 53 and although surprised at the time and shocked I seem to handl...
Forum Discussion
HI Byrnes,
Your reaction is perfectly normal....if there is a 'normal' in this whole experience.....I am glad you have realised your fears are effecting your day to day life and are seeking help.....many time I have slipped into the abyss.....but I have managed to get grip and pull myself out again......we are always teetering on the edge of that abyss Byrnes......What you do in regards to yoour treatment is of course, your choice....but I will share mine with you....I too was diagnosed with HER positive grade 2 Stage 3 ....positive nodes so auxillary clearance was done at the time of lumpectomy....my tumor was 70mm!.......Started chemo FEC-D two weeks after surgery, had six rounds, 21 days apart.....had a 3 week break then had bi lateral mastectomy with expanders.....I am currently waiting to hear when i start radiotherapy.......I have also started hormone blocking treatment (Tamoxifen)......
Now chemo, for me, was the absolute pits! I got every side effect possible....they hit me hard and the drs kept reminding me of that!....it was the hardest thing i've ever done in my life and many a night, and day, I cried, screamed and jumped up and down wondering what the hell i was doing to myself! I too wanted to quit......But with the encouragement of my family and friends and my medical team, and the sheer determination that this bitch was NOT going to kill me! I soldiered on......My surgery went well and it really wasn't as bad as I had prepared myself for it to be...the expansions were more painful......I am now fully expanded and am prepared for radiation to start...I will have 25 sessions of radiotherapy.....then I will get a well deserved break until February 2017 then i will schedule my implant transfer and the whole healing process begins again! I still wonder why the hell i am doing this! I am doing this because it's the best possible way to ensure that I will never be bothered by this bitch again! So i have to try!
This experience has shown me that I am way stronger and resillient than i ever thought I was! We are suddenly faced with a situation that questions our mortality....At first you are shrouded with what i called the protective fog....this happens so you can take in all the information that is thrown at you....then you get to the why me stage......then comes the anger......sadness....what if's.....happiness....relief.....sadness.....and around and around the emotions go........You are facing the biggest hurdle life will throw at you, you do have to take a deep breath and step back....surround yourself with those who offer you genuine support.......listen to your team, they have your best interests at heart, and listen to your councellor.......ask a million questions, then ask again until you are satisfied you understand everything that going to happen to you........I hope my rant has helped you in some way.......I wish you all the very best in whatever you decide,
Your reaction is perfectly normal....if there is a 'normal' in this whole experience.....I am glad you have realised your fears are effecting your day to day life and are seeking help.....many time I have slipped into the abyss.....but I have managed to get grip and pull myself out again......we are always teetering on the edge of that abyss Byrnes......What you do in regards to yoour treatment is of course, your choice....but I will share mine with you....I too was diagnosed with HER positive grade 2 Stage 3 ....positive nodes so auxillary clearance was done at the time of lumpectomy....my tumor was 70mm!.......Started chemo FEC-D two weeks after surgery, had six rounds, 21 days apart.....had a 3 week break then had bi lateral mastectomy with expanders.....I am currently waiting to hear when i start radiotherapy.......I have also started hormone blocking treatment (Tamoxifen)......
Now chemo, for me, was the absolute pits! I got every side effect possible....they hit me hard and the drs kept reminding me of that!....it was the hardest thing i've ever done in my life and many a night, and day, I cried, screamed and jumped up and down wondering what the hell i was doing to myself! I too wanted to quit......But with the encouragement of my family and friends and my medical team, and the sheer determination that this bitch was NOT going to kill me! I soldiered on......My surgery went well and it really wasn't as bad as I had prepared myself for it to be...the expansions were more painful......I am now fully expanded and am prepared for radiation to start...I will have 25 sessions of radiotherapy.....then I will get a well deserved break until February 2017 then i will schedule my implant transfer and the whole healing process begins again! I still wonder why the hell i am doing this! I am doing this because it's the best possible way to ensure that I will never be bothered by this bitch again! So i have to try!
This experience has shown me that I am way stronger and resillient than i ever thought I was! We are suddenly faced with a situation that questions our mortality....At first you are shrouded with what i called the protective fog....this happens so you can take in all the information that is thrown at you....then you get to the why me stage......then comes the anger......sadness....what if's.....happiness....relief.....sadness.....and around and around the emotions go........You are facing the biggest hurdle life will throw at you, you do have to take a deep breath and step back....surround yourself with those who offer you genuine support.......listen to your team, they have your best interests at heart, and listen to your councellor.......ask a million questions, then ask again until you are satisfied you understand everything that going to happen to you........I hope my rant has helped you in some way.......I wish you all the very best in whatever you decide,