Feeling Lost
Hi, I'm not sure how this network works yet so I'm hoping I can connect with some support, but really I want to let out what is inside. I therefore doubt this will make much sense. I went in for...
Forum Discussion
@Felicia29 I am with you on this 100%. The pressure to be 'the good patient' is intense, from others and ourselves. And it's nigh on impossible for a diagnosis like breast cancer. This is a deeply affecting illness. It's in a part of our body that is visible, highly identified as part of our gender, femininity, sexuality, and our basic function as a female mammal. We dress to it, whether to hide or display. And let's not forget: it's cancer. So if you feel like crying when there are nurses and techs about, don't hold back. They're trained professionals and have seen it all before. With only a couple of exceptions, when I was weepy with medicos, they were great.
They're doing a study comparing a BC diagnosis to military PTSD, so similar are the effects on the person.
Very early on in my diagnosis when I was very distraught, I saw a counsellor who told me to "lean into the pain". I thought this was insane but I get it now. You have to go through it to emerge the other side. Avoidance can actually cause PTSD, which can linger for a very long time, if not forever.
And one last fact: one of my oldest friends did double blind clinical study which definitively proved that positivity had no medical impact on cancer. Absolutely it can change your experience of your treatment. But a cancer cell doesn't give two hoots if you're positive or not!
You do you Felicia. There'll be days where you want to cry non-stop and days where you'll smile. Be true to you, and honour your emotions. Many people here report unsupportive families. Mostly we think it's because the people who love you are scared, in denial or just don't know what to do. There are lots of resources for families and carers of people with cancer. Have you looked at the BCNA online My Journey kit? Perhaps you could send your family some links to read. I know I had to explicitly tell my husband that when I was crying all I needed from him was to hold me. I also had to get him to read the partners pamphlet twice. He was much better after the second time!
Find your support where you can. You've always got us here, plus there are the wonderful ladies on the BCNA helpline 1800 500 258. Do you have a breastcare nurse? They can be an amazing support. And your friends of course. Mine were incredible.
The biggest of hugs lovely. We've got you. K xox
They're doing a study comparing a BC diagnosis to military PTSD, so similar are the effects on the person.
Very early on in my diagnosis when I was very distraught, I saw a counsellor who told me to "lean into the pain". I thought this was insane but I get it now. You have to go through it to emerge the other side. Avoidance can actually cause PTSD, which can linger for a very long time, if not forever.
And one last fact: one of my oldest friends did double blind clinical study which definitively proved that positivity had no medical impact on cancer. Absolutely it can change your experience of your treatment. But a cancer cell doesn't give two hoots if you're positive or not!
You do you Felicia. There'll be days where you want to cry non-stop and days where you'll smile. Be true to you, and honour your emotions. Many people here report unsupportive families. Mostly we think it's because the people who love you are scared, in denial or just don't know what to do. There are lots of resources for families and carers of people with cancer. Have you looked at the BCNA online My Journey kit? Perhaps you could send your family some links to read. I know I had to explicitly tell my husband that when I was crying all I needed from him was to hold me. I also had to get him to read the partners pamphlet twice. He was much better after the second time!
Find your support where you can. You've always got us here, plus there are the wonderful ladies on the BCNA helpline 1800 500 258. Do you have a breastcare nurse? They can be an amazing support. And your friends of course. Mine were incredible.
The biggest of hugs lovely. We've got you. K xox