Hi there @Felicia29,....totally normal, you're in good company here, we all get it. Nothing about this is normal. Your previously predictable body has gone feral on you (and all of us here). All sorts of emotions, in every possible combination and sequence of emotions will most probably spill out in the future. Here is a safe place to vent. We have your back. It will get easier as your treatment plan comes together and is underway. At least then, you will feel that you have some clear direction. The early days are rough, but, yes one step at a time, one breath at a time. Big hugs. Ally.