From @Caroline71 Hi Everyone I am new to the site, just turned 48 and only diagnosed 2 days ago with stage 3 invasive breast cancer.It has spread to my lymph nodes and the muscles in my chest and I still have to have scans to see if it has gone to other organs.I am utterly devastated as I only had a scan in December and it was clear but I developed a large lump in my breast out of nowhere I put it off for 2 months as I thought it was another cyst as I had one in the left breast which is why the scan was done in December I did not realise that breast cancers could appear that large out of nowhere and then to be told it is advanced and spread already has hit me like a ton of bricks.I have not seen the oncologist yet as I am waiting to be contacted i am absolutely terrified and depressed as well.I am worried it has spread to my liver or lungs as I have been having back pain and shortness of breath for months now,I am scared of the chemo and how sick I will be.i watched my dad die of stage 4 lung cancer last year which came out of nowhere and he only lived 5 months after diagnosis after developing sepsis as a side effect of the chemo.I am just a absolute mess and have no one I can really talk to.i have a 25 year old son and the thought of dying and leaving him has me so devastated I am feeling hopeless and depressed and like I just do not want to have to go any further sorry for such a depressing post and feeling sorry for myself.just needed to get things off my chest and hope to hear other people’s experiences on how to deal with it all

Thank you to all you lovely ladies, I feel so much better about things after reading all your messages of support and your stories and experiences.i can look at things without as much fear after reading all your messages and for that I am truly grateful.i am so happy to have found this wonderful support network and know that there is someone there to talk to when I am feeling scared or down and that there are other people who have felt exactly as I have.Much love to you all and I look forward to getting to know you all xx

@Caroline71 This time after diagnosis but before heading into treatment is really really hard. I spent that time veering from fog to absolute despair. Somehow, once you start treatment, the anxiety while not going away, does tend to calm a bit for most people. I'm guessing that you know who you have been referred to - give them a call and find out your appointment time - the staff should be used to people who are anxious.It sounds to me that you have a lot of trauma to deal with having this come so soon after your father's sudden death. Do you have a psychologist/counsellor? If not, I would suggest that you try to get in to see someone who deals with cancer patients & families. You can get a mental health care plan from your GP to offset some of the costs. And I know at the moment that probably seems too much to even contemplate but talk to your GP or oncologist - they often know of someone who they can recommend.The thought of leaving our kids is an awful one. It has been my shadow throughout and I don't know if it ever goes away. On the other hand, my kids have been amazing since my diagnosis 18 months ago. They still drive me to distraction at times and it certainly has affected them but they have really risen to the occasion when needed. As the others have said - come here when you need information, want to vent or even have a laugh. We get it.

Hi there @Caroline71, welcome to the group that nobody joins voluntarily. Anyone who is not knocked for a six upon learning that they have cancer, would be a rare bird indeed. All of us here, young and not so young. Single and partnered, with and without kids, male and female, "get" it. When I was given a list of things to get before chemo, the first thing I purchased was a plastic bucket from Kmart for the anticipated puking. Well that bucket remains unused for the purpose and now lives a peaceful life as a laundry bucket. Never even had the collywobbles, let alone full on vomiting. Plenty of other stuff happened, but not that. I was diagnosed Grade 3 Stage 3 Triple Positive in 2016. Had AC chemo X 4 doses followed by Paclitaxol X 12 and Herceptin for a year. This was followed by bilateral mastectomy after chemo finished. Currently NED (no evidence of disease). Nothing else to add to the above posts from other members. Sending a big (((cyber hug))). Ally.

hi Caroline71 it is normal to be scared and upset when we are first diagnosed. there are many great ladies and gents on this forum who will answer questions and guide you as you go through this process. Dont do Dr google he can be deceiving. Ask questions here, have a vent and know we get it... as you go through the process and have a plan things will start to settle a bit. Hugs Soldiercrab

@Caroline71 It's always scary the thought of chemo. But so many of us are here and got through it and mostly without major issues.It's normal to feel scared and worry that all things are bc related. They may not be. I know saying that won't help as until you know for sure you will worry. We get it. We've been there.I too had a clear mammogram 5 weeks before I found a lump which in my case was close to the nipple. It would have been much larger before being found in a different location. As to your oncologist. ..if you haven't heard from them by Thursday morning I'd be following up.We are here for any questions you have. No question is silly. Remember that. XPlease let ys know how things go.

Diagnosed 2 days ago | BCNA Online Network

63 Replies

Caroline71
Member
7 years ago
Thank you Anne,
very wise words.
Thank you for your support, it really makes a difference.
Hopefully it will settle down once my body adapts to it 😊
Hope you are enjoying your day xx
Anne65
Member
7 years ago
@Caroline71 Gently does it. One day & step at a time. I guess everyone if effected differently by certain drugs so I'm sorry to hear you are feeling "ugh" from your medication. Fingers crossed it settles down. Let us know how you get on Friday after you visit the gyny. Hang in there my lovely. We are all riding the train with you. Try not to get too overwhelmed & over think things that may eventuate in the future. Focus on looking after yourself & dealing with what you do know from your tests....easier said than done! Love & hugs.xx
Caroline71
Member
7 years ago
I know what you mean
i am the same, in limbo waiting to see the surgeon and oncology after all the scans
all the waiting is hard as you have no idea what is going to happen first
CRM
Member
7 years ago
I am good :) @Caroline71 I am a bit in limbo as I wait for the hospital to confirm my dates for radiation. It feels like there was a whirlwind of scans and specialist appointments and now nothing... just waiting.
Caroline71
Member
7 years ago
Hi CRM,
no I didn’t take it that way
I appreciate your comment ,it is always good to hear how other people find things
I am happy to hear that you are doing well on it, makes me feel better about taking it
How is everything going for you.
Sending hugs xx
CRM
Member
7 years ago
Sorry, my comment wasn't to rub it in as I didn't see your last comment! You might find the symptoms don't get any worse than what you have already felt.
CRM
Member
7 years ago
@Caroline71 I have been taking Tamoxifen for almost a month now and had literally zero side effects.
Caroline71
Member
7 years ago
Thank you Anne for your kind words.
so far the tamoxifen has made me feel a bit nauseas and headachey
The worst is the overall exhaustion and bone and joint aches but I am only on day 3 of it so I guess there will be a bit more yet to come lol
I see the gyno on Friday for my ovary so hopefully will know more by then.
Hope you are having a nice day
Big Hugs xx
Anne65
Member
7 years ago
@Caroline71 So happy to read that your cancer hasnt spread to your bones or lungs. That must be a huge relief. One step at a time & now you wait til 16th. This disease certainly tests our patience!
I havent been on any drugs so cant comment on that side for you.
I read that you have a mass on your ovary. Fingers crossed that is nothing sinister. I had both my ovaries & tubes removed last year as a precaution as my mum died of ovarian cancer when she was just 46 y.o. If you end up having that operation, it is a simple procedure with just 1 night in hospital.
Wishing you love & strength. xx
Red1
Member
7 years ago
Hi, I've just started tamoxifen, I'm a couple of years younger and hadn't gone through menopause, I had chemo start of the year so who knows if that has done the trick..I had hot flashes from the chemo that have continued on the tamoxifen..but honestly could be the chemo, the tamoxifen or menopause causing them...I was terrified of taking tamoxifen and was expecting all sorts of horrible things to come from it but 4 weeks in and besides the hot flashes and a few moments where my brain forgets what it's doing it's been smooth sailing so fingers crossed it will stay that way..hopefully you will sail through too..All the bestxx

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