From @Caroline71 Hi Everyone I am new to the site, just turned 48 and only diagnosed 2 days ago with stage 3 invasive breast cancer.It has spread to my lymph nodes and the muscles in my chest and I still have to have scans to see if it has gone to other organs.I am utterly devastated as I only had a scan in December and it was clear but I developed a large lump in my breast out of nowhere I put it off for 2 months as I thought it was another cyst as I had one in the left breast which is why the scan was done in December I did not realise that breast cancers could appear that large out of nowhere and then to be told it is advanced and spread already has hit me like a ton of bricks.I have not seen the oncologist yet as I am waiting to be contacted i am absolutely terrified and depressed as well.I am worried it has spread to my liver or lungs as I have been having back pain and shortness of breath for months now,I am scared of the chemo and how sick I will be.i watched my dad die of stage 4 lung cancer last year which came out of nowhere and he only lived 5 months after diagnosis after developing sepsis as a side effect of the chemo.I am just a absolute mess and have no one I can really talk to.i have a 25 year old son and the thought of dying and leaving him has me so devastated I am feeling hopeless and depressed and like I just do not want to have to go any further sorry for such a depressing post and feeling sorry for myself.just needed to get things off my chest and hope to hear other people’s experiences on how to deal with it all

Thank you to all you lovely ladies, I feel so much better about things after reading all your messages of support and your stories and experiences.i can look at things without as much fear after reading all your messages and for that I am truly grateful.i am so happy to have found this wonderful support network and know that there is someone there to talk to when I am feeling scared or down and that there are other people who have felt exactly as I have.Much love to you all and I look forward to getting to know you all xx

@Caroline71 This time after diagnosis but before heading into treatment is really really hard. I spent that time veering from fog to absolute despair. Somehow, once you start treatment, the anxiety while not going away, does tend to calm a bit for most people. I'm guessing that you know who you have been referred to - give them a call and find out your appointment time - the staff should be used to people who are anxious.It sounds to me that you have a lot of trauma to deal with having this come so soon after your father's sudden death. Do you have a psychologist/counsellor? If not, I would suggest that you try to get in to see someone who deals with cancer patients & families. You can get a mental health care plan from your GP to offset some of the costs. And I know at the moment that probably seems too much to even contemplate but talk to your GP or oncologist - they often know of someone who they can recommend.The thought of leaving our kids is an awful one. It has been my shadow throughout and I don't know if it ever goes away. On the other hand, my kids have been amazing since my diagnosis 18 months ago. They still drive me to distraction at times and it certainly has affected them but they have really risen to the occasion when needed. As the others have said - come here when you need information, want to vent or even have a laugh. We get it.

Hi there @Caroline71, welcome to the group that nobody joins voluntarily. Anyone who is not knocked for a six upon learning that they have cancer, would be a rare bird indeed. All of us here, young and not so young. Single and partnered, with and without kids, male and female, "get" it. When I was given a list of things to get before chemo, the first thing I purchased was a plastic bucket from Kmart for the anticipated puking. Well that bucket remains unused for the purpose and now lives a peaceful life as a laundry bucket. Never even had the collywobbles, let alone full on vomiting. Plenty of other stuff happened, but not that. I was diagnosed Grade 3 Stage 3 Triple Positive in 2016. Had AC chemo X 4 doses followed by Paclitaxol X 12 and Herceptin for a year. This was followed by bilateral mastectomy after chemo finished. Currently NED (no evidence of disease). Nothing else to add to the above posts from other members. Sending a big (((cyber hug))). Ally.

hi Caroline71 it is normal to be scared and upset when we are first diagnosed. there are many great ladies and gents on this forum who will answer questions and guide you as you go through this process. Dont do Dr google he can be deceiving. Ask questions here, have a vent and know we get it... as you go through the process and have a plan things will start to settle a bit. Hugs Soldiercrab

@Caroline71 It's always scary the thought of chemo. But so many of us are here and got through it and mostly without major issues.It's normal to feel scared and worry that all things are bc related. They may not be. I know saying that won't help as until you know for sure you will worry. We get it. We've been there.I too had a clear mammogram 5 weeks before I found a lump which in my case was close to the nipple. It would have been much larger before being found in a different location. As to your oncologist. ..if you haven't heard from them by Thursday morning I'd be following up.We are here for any questions you have. No question is silly. Remember that. XPlease let ys know how things go.

Diagnosed 2 days ago | BCNA Online Network

63 Replies

Anne65
Member
7 years ago
@Caroline71 Sending you love, strength & prayers. This waiting game is horrible but we are all here for you. @kitkatb mentioned that there are breast care nurses in Townsville so I hope you have made contact with one of them or jump on the McGrath website & email a nurse close to you. She will provide so much comfort & support to you & your family & will be someone who you can talk to & ask ALL those questions that we forget to ask the medical staff. Hope the scans went well & fingers crossed for the results tomorrow. Hugs xx
kitkatb
Member
7 years ago
Just sent you PM @Caroline71.
Caroline71
Member
7 years ago
Thank you suburbangirl.
The waiting is horrible, can not sleep at night either.
Good to have you ladies to talk too
Sending hugs xx
suburbangirl
Member
7 years ago
Hi @Caroline71,
Waiting is just the worst. As all the ladies have said, please know we are all here to support and listen (read) anytime! Best thing is, everyone totally gets it and understands.
Sending my best wishes and thoughts to you, especially over the next week as you have further tests and appointments.
xx
Caroline71
Member
7 years ago
Thank you Arpie
Sending hugs xx
arpie
Member
7 years ago
All the best for your results, @Caroline71 - we'll all be thinking of you with fingers & toes crossed xx

You'll have a good buddy in @kitkatb xx Sounds like the team up there is terrific - and Audreys Angels sounds great too

take care xx
kitkatb
Member
7 years ago
HI @Caroline71 I went through Townsville last year. Am so sorry you have to be here. I found Townsville hospital great. They have specialist breast surgeons and 3 full time breast care nurses so you will have heaps of support. I had 3 surgeries last year as well as chemo in between the 2nd and 3rd surgery. If you need to know anything you can send me a PM any time. Also while I went through it all I was approached by Audreys Angels based in Ingham it is a fantastic support system and we all meet up once a month.
All the best with everything and any questions just fire away. I went public the whole way and had the same surgeon for 3 surgeries as well as the same wonderful oncologist. Big hugs xo
Caroline71
Member
7 years ago
Thank you to all you lovely ladies
Thank goodness for this site
Have all the scans tomorrow and get results if it’s spread etc on Friday so I will keep you all posted.
sending hugs to you all xx
Flaneuse
Member
7 years ago
@Caroline71 What a rough time you're going through. You've already had lots of good advice here. Just wishing you well.
Brenda5
Member
7 years ago
My advice on chemo is to take someone with you for the first and second doses. I was ok on the first one but terrified as you sound but they infused it very slowly and it took hours. I couldn't really concentrate on reading or talking with my husband but I did take a laptop, plugged into a point at the back of the chair (the chairs are nice) and put the lappy on a food table on wheels and wore a head set so I didn't disturb other patients. I put my favourite movie in the cd with uplifting music which made the time really fly by.
The second dose I had a reaction to it and it was so sudden that had my husband not been there and realized straight away, I would have been in more trouble. The nurse had just turned her back and for the life of me I could not press the emergency button. All was halted and more premed put in and the reaction went away.
If you live 20 mins or more from the center, take a bottle of water for the trip home. My mouth suddenly turned in to the Sahara desert and my throat was dry as a bone.
Other side effects apart from being tired just sort of evolve and you will get around those as they come. We are very adaptable but just take it one day at a time. I am hoping the chemo for you really works well and a lot of that chest muscle stuff just disappears. You aren't on the way out yet and shouldn't be for a long time so don't panic. We will help you with any questions no matter how odd or silly. We've all been there. <3

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