Decisions on surgery

Hey @KimF , so sorry that you find yourself here. I have just finished my active treatment for Stage 3 HER+ I wished I had pushed harder for a double at the time of meeting my surgeon as I was feeling the same as you, unable to cope if I had to go through it again, petrified of it turning up in the other breast etc, but I had so much cancer apparently the priority had to be given to the affected breast and lymph nodes without the possibility of the other or "good" breast being removed and then perhaps causing a problem or a delay with treatment. I am now just about to see my surgeon to have the other one removed by choice because I really dislike having one breast only.  I have tried to accept the prosthesis and have done pretty well with it since having to start wearing it but I just find myself wanting more than anything just to have them both gone and to at least look even (not sure if thats even the right word but you know what I am trying to say I am sure). 

I did wonder if at the time of diagnosis and the talk of surgery whether or not I was just having a knee jerk reaction just get rid of them both, but I did also know from my scans etc that there was a lot of disease and we had already touched on the fact a lumpectomy wasn't going to be an option, so I had time to process while going through chemo. I have to say it is something I haven't changed my mind on though, the whole way through, even when they told me they would only do one at a time, I just parked it and made all the queries I could about when I could have the next surgery. 

It is all so overwhelming and everyone will have a different story to share. It is really important to take the time you need and to make the decisions you want under the guidance of your medical team. Big hugs to you as you navigate all this xx