@ddon Two nights before I started chemo I had a massive panic attack. It went on for 45 minutes. I'd never had anything like it before, or since. However the day came and went, the weeks came and went, it was awful but mostly bearable, grotty but doable. You will get through it, there will be laughs along the way. Showers will be a fabulous sensory experience and you will keep cooler this summer!
It's really important to exercise during chemo, it helps reduce the side effects. You may not be able to run in the first week but you could give it a go in the second week of each cycle. I walked almost everyday of chemo (which started on the 8th Jan last year, almost two years ago). It was a short slow stagger to start with, building up to a brisk 5kms each three week cycle except the last. The more high intensity the better.
Keep your eyes on the prize, a cancer free life. You are doing everything in your power to be there for your son. You should be proud of yourself. Some people get away with chemo scott free, others have lingering side effects. It's a bitter pill to swallow but it's the best we have and the price we willingly pay to have a shot at long life. My mum had aggressive breast cancer at 51. In 1986 chemo was a blunt instrument, not the nuanced thing it is now. But she did it and is still going strong at 85 years of age.
I have never felt more loved than I did during chemo, especially from my friends. You've got this, and we've got you. Big hug, K xox