Dark days

Hi @ddon.  My cancer was discovered through a Breastscreen in December 2017.  At the time, my kids were aged 11, 12 & 15 and my middle one was about to graduate from primary school (I asked the surgeon to let me have that week to be able to see that).  My biggest fear was leaving my children.  A small cancer turned out to be a much bigger cancer leading to a second surgery in January - mastectomy & axillary.  Most of 2018 was spent in chemo and rads.  What I want to say is that you and your family can get through this but there's no denying that at times it may be tough.  I told the kids that I would always be honest with them (about what I knew not what I didn't) and that they could ask me or their dad anything about it.  Secrets can be far scarier than the truth.  I also made it clear that I was happy for them to talk to other people - their friends, my friends, rellies, school counsellors - and that we would organise professionals if we thought it would be helpful.  I talked to the school teachers and to the well-being team at the high school so that they knew what was going on.  My kids needed counsellors at times but they were absolutely amazing during my treatment.  Knowing they were mostly okay took a load off my mind.  CanTeen has resources available as it's not just about kids going through cancer but about kids who are dealing with a family member going through cancer. 

The other thing that I would recommend is that, if people offer to help, have practical things to suggest that they can help you with.  We live a long way from the kids' schools so knowing there was someone to pick them up if things went pear-shaped was invaluable.  Another (childless) friend drove miles across town to pick my daughter up and then drive her miles in the other way to get her to a sports carnival while I was having a chemo treatment.  That sort of assistance was great.  

Take care