Countdown to chemo, fearing changes to my body

Question

Hi to this wonderful group of people who face challenges every day. I was diagnosed with double positive, (ER+, PR+, HER2-) late November, having had a bilateral mastectomy, right axillary clearance which found 1 and a fraction of nodal involvement and full reconstruction mid December. I chose to have a bilateral after being told there was no option for a lumpectomy . I’m recovering well physically by the beach side with my young children but now am dreading chemo and all that it will bring as I’m starting this on the 23rd January. In 4 sleeps! My greatest concerns are looking unwell and losing my hair (I will be trying the cool cap but have been told that success is only at 20% for my type of chemo), my eyebrows and eyelashes and also the physical effects on my body. I’ve always looked after my body and it has proven it be my temple. &nbsp;I love exercise and feeling strong. I’m not vain but dread looking sick. I know that chemo is treatment against free floaters and that I will do but I’m just feeling blue.&nbsp;

afraser · Answer

We fully understand the dread, everyone feels apprehensive about chemo - it does not have a good press! Unfortunately there is not much way of knowing how it will affect you until you start. I don't think anyone would have known I was having treatment unless I told them. I looked perfectly well - lost my hair, wore a wig. One person with a good knowledge of cancer remarked how lucky I was not to lose my hair! I worked throughout. But others find it much harder. Your temple unfortunately has had invaders - you hope you've got shot of them, but wisely you are doing everything you can to make sure! I know it's a bit extreme for a health regime, but try looking at it that way instead of a loss or a setback. There will be good days and bad days, but every day you are closer to your goal. Best wishes

jual · Answer

Hi Mer,Waiting for the chemo is not great and a bit of a roller coaster but my experience of chemo has been very manageable, in fact the first one has probably been the "worst" as I didn't know what to expect or what the side effects meant! Fortunately being proactive with things to make sure the bowels keep moving, some mild pain relief for the aches and claratyne regularly for the week of chemo has meant it has all been much better each cycle and I now only have one to go. I exercised all the way through and in fact found a walk each day even if I felt a bit flat very restorative and helpful. I have also continued some weight training, occasional exercise classes and yoga. I even did a HIIT class one day and some aerobics!&nbsp;As to looking sick - everyone looks surprised and tells me how well I look and they seem very genuine!! In fact I think the expectation is very different to the reality.&nbsp;I realise that losing hair is very traumatic for many people but I had a different experience and like some others found it very liberating!! It gave me the opportunity to try some shorter and different styles that I would have never been game to try with long blonde hair before all this. Eyebrows and eye lashes have thinned out but are still hanging in there and I fill them out with some Model Co more brows that I saw someone else had recommended. The Look Good Feel Better Workshops run by the Cancer Council are excellent. They also demo some wigs on women with no hair and you cannot tell they are wigs, they are brilliant so that might be a good strategy for you too. Not having hair and wearing a head scarf does mean of course generally people know something is up but I can mostly ignore this and it doesn't bother me but on some days I did wish I could fly under the radar like I used to.&nbsp;All the best, it will get better, regards Jual

mollygirl · Answer

Hi @Mer, I can certainly relate. I think I am vain :). I hated the thought of people seeing me sick - I'm Big Bad Bec, I don't do sick or weak ( BBB my nickname at work - I'm like 5'2 and 50kg so ok it's a stretch ...). I found losing my hair liberating. Really! But now it's growing back since finishing treatment it's an absolute nightmare. I found losing all my eyebrows and eyelashes very hard. I looked like an alien. But you know, the days you're really sick you just don't go out then the days you do you're so happy to be out I could care less what I looked like.
Thinking of you - the days before starting are nerve racking. But we know you can do this - we did! I'm happy to report I'm in love with my new eyebrows and eyelashes! But my hair still naff :( lucky it's cap weather! Best wishes, Bec xxxx

primek · Answer

Well I was determined to not look sick so off I trotted with my sister to the local pharmacy. Im not much of a majeup wearer so all new to me. I bought a great CC cream from oil of olay (but still use a moisuriser under it) a revlon consealer stick. Eyebrow pendils to mstch my colour. Light brown coloured eye liner. A great peachy coloured blush from natos and a beutral lipstick and good poder. If you can afford estee lauder are beautiful. I also bought eye comour in various brown shades.

I never went out without my face done but quite frankly got sick of people telling me I looked well (when I often felt like crap) . Haha.

I couldn't do my eyebrows so I had them tatooed (by professional experienced makup tattooist) before they were gone. Between AC and taxol regime. Eyelashes lasted to the end. I just drew lower line on eyes and with eyeshadow it looked fine. I couldn't put a line on eyelid as it looked like someone drew all over me.

I hated my wig but did get one just in case. I bought lots of lovely caps, scarves etc and coordinated with outfits.

Photo...last day of chemo. (I whacked on lots of weight...but certainly fooled anyone that I was feeling dreadful)

Also. A month or so on with some hair and glasses off.

zoffiel · Answer

Chemo doesn't necessarily make you look sick. You may have some sick days, but, depending what treatment you are having, there is every chance your skin will look fantastic, the general clean up of diets and compulsive water drinking does wonders. Not a recommendation by any means, but my first chemo experience in 2006 when I was 43 and fit as fiddle was bearable.

I won't spoil the story by going into how that changed when I had to do it all again last year, but don't expect disaster. Sounds like you are going to do it anyway, wait and see what happens. Margxxx

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Countdown to chemo, fearing changes to my body

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