Coping with a cancer diagnosis at Christmas, some helpful tips...
Hello everyone, Its not long now until Christmas and the summer holiday season. As we all know, cancer doesn't take a break at Christmas time. We have recently had quite a few new members join ...
I was diagnosed on the 4th December last year, had two operations in eight days, saw a counsellor, a plastic surgeon, and then everyone vanished, including my breast surgeon and breastcare nurse, for a month, with the exception of my oncologist, who I'd met once. And she went away two weeks after everyone else. I was bereft and felt abandoned. I had so many questions, concerns and issues and felt I had nowhere to turn. I was not on this forum at that time, a newb in this world, and desperately upset.
So my advice would be to find out if any of your medical team are taking leave, and ask them very specifically who you should contact in their absence. I had offices that were completely unattended, with no one checking the answering machines. It was horrible.
As for Christmas... well it's often a challenge at the best of times. A lot of us are torn between wanting to keep things as normal as possible, and pulling the (summer) doona over our heads and hiding. I soldiered on and did Christmas as usual including dinner for 13 (which included a lovelorn Fin visiting in the vain hope that my sister would fall in love with him... that added an interesting dimension to the day!). Due to my family history I especially needed to keep things normal for my children. However, depending on your circumstances I would advise looking deep inside and making the decision carefully. If you need to step away, bow out, withdraw etc, this is the time to do it. Our usual mantras here of being kind to yourself and putting yourself first doubly applies at Christmas, which is exhausting enough as it is, without cancer treatment added on top.
We're just over a month out, so now would be a good time to email those concerned to tell them that you will or won't be contributing as normal.
I'm the only person who can 'do' Christmas in my family, and this year face the decision of how to approach it. I'll be away until late on the 22/12, so the decorations will be left for others to do! I will not be thrashing myself to produce the perfect day. I simply do not have the energy or the emotional wellbeing to take on everyone's expectations this year. I'll be as organised as possible but I'm not going to load myself up with the usual stress.
