You have so much to take in. It's been a lot for you to process. But take heart that many many women have positive nodes and are cured of breast cancer. My niece had 10 pos nodes and 14 years on she is cancer free.
Many women also have mastectomies and no reconstruction and adapt to their change. Many choose not to wear a prosthesis also and learn to be comfortable in there own skin.
I was wondering why your RA would prevent a reconstruction though. Could you enlighten us?
Hope things get a bit easier for you soon. Have you made contact with a breast care nurse for support or rang and sought counselling through the cancer council? Let us know if you need contact links.
Are you taking a friend to the appointments? It's hard to remember things so a friend can be useful not only for support but writing things down for you. Also any questions that pop in your head write down and take to the appointment. You tend to forget all of them once in the room otherwise.
Take care. Kath x