An unexpected birthday surprise
Hi everyone, I have been on the journey for about a month now. I had no symptoms and given it was my 53rd birthday at the beginning of March, and the last checkup I had was just before I was 50, I thought I should get into healthy birthday habits and do all the checks.
A week after my test I received the call to advise I needed to have further testing. Since then, time feels like it has flown by and my emotions have been on a roller coaster ride.
Below is a bit long but this is my venting and releasing all the emotions I have had for the past month.
My GP was the first to let me know the results of the further tests. It was the worst experience I have ever had - all he said was that the results were not good, that I had invasive ductal carcinoma, that I should be better with my checkups, and that he would refer me to the surgeon. He noted the surgeon and their team are really good, but give it a week before I call their office to book an appointment. He did not give me any more information about my results, nor did he advise of any organisations that could provide emotional support such as BCNA, or Beyond Blue etc. My husband and I walked out of the GP's office in a state of shock not knowing what we were truly dealing with.
Luckily a few days later the surgeon's office called me and I saw them the week after. All was explained - a small IDC, deep in the breast, Grade 2 aggressiveness, hormone receptor positive, next steps etc. The breast nurse told me about BCNA - I looked it up and found so many amazing resources to support people. This is where I felt I could at least understand and have some semblance of control.
I am the person who is usually strong for everyone else. I am the carer of my older brother who has multiple disabilities, and I am about to be a first-time grandma. All I could think about during the past month was my family and being there for them. While I have put on a positive face I have had all these internal mixed emotions. - loss of control, fear, anger, and worrying if it has spread elsewhere. I don't feel I can say these emotions to family and friends as they are used to me being a positive and strong person. I have cried alone.
My anger is not about having the cancer, but how my GP managed the situation. He had all the information about the size, type etc, but did not say anything to us about this - all he said was 'it was not good'. I at the time did not even know I could ask, or even what to ask. I walked out of his office fearing the worst and it was not until I saw the surgeon, and the breast nurse that I felt safer. In saying that he did call me a few weeks after to check to see that I had an appointment with the surgeon. Maybe GPs should be taught how to give this type of news and advise of any supports - or maybe this was just my experience with my GP and other GPs are better.
I now have the PET/CT results and our focus is the breast only. Operation at the end of the month, and it sounds like it will be radiation and hormone therapy from there. I know the emotional roller coaster ride will continue, but for me understanding what I am dealing with and having a plan at least gives me back some control.
BCNA - thank you for having a place to support people with breast cancer and where we can be open.
A week after my test I received the call to advise I needed to have further testing. Since then, time feels like it has flown by and my emotions have been on a roller coaster ride.
Below is a bit long but this is my venting and releasing all the emotions I have had for the past month.
My GP was the first to let me know the results of the further tests. It was the worst experience I have ever had - all he said was that the results were not good, that I had invasive ductal carcinoma, that I should be better with my checkups, and that he would refer me to the surgeon. He noted the surgeon and their team are really good, but give it a week before I call their office to book an appointment. He did not give me any more information about my results, nor did he advise of any organisations that could provide emotional support such as BCNA, or Beyond Blue etc. My husband and I walked out of the GP's office in a state of shock not knowing what we were truly dealing with.
Luckily a few days later the surgeon's office called me and I saw them the week after. All was explained - a small IDC, deep in the breast, Grade 2 aggressiveness, hormone receptor positive, next steps etc. The breast nurse told me about BCNA - I looked it up and found so many amazing resources to support people. This is where I felt I could at least understand and have some semblance of control.
I am the person who is usually strong for everyone else. I am the carer of my older brother who has multiple disabilities, and I am about to be a first-time grandma. All I could think about during the past month was my family and being there for them. While I have put on a positive face I have had all these internal mixed emotions. - loss of control, fear, anger, and worrying if it has spread elsewhere. I don't feel I can say these emotions to family and friends as they are used to me being a positive and strong person. I have cried alone.
My anger is not about having the cancer, but how my GP managed the situation. He had all the information about the size, type etc, but did not say anything to us about this - all he said was 'it was not good'. I at the time did not even know I could ask, or even what to ask. I walked out of his office fearing the worst and it was not until I saw the surgeon, and the breast nurse that I felt safer. In saying that he did call me a few weeks after to check to see that I had an appointment with the surgeon. Maybe GPs should be taught how to give this type of news and advise of any supports - or maybe this was just my experience with my GP and other GPs are better.
I now have the PET/CT results and our focus is the breast only. Operation at the end of the month, and it sounds like it will be radiation and hormone therapy from there. I know the emotional roller coaster ride will continue, but for me understanding what I am dealing with and having a plan at least gives me back some control.
BCNA - thank you for having a place to support people with breast cancer and where we can be open.
