@eightdays I just wanted to reach out and tell you...YOU absolutely can do this again. I've been through a recurrence at the 4yr mark and have now reached my 5 year anniversary this week. To say gutted for the 2nd diagnosis is an absolutely understatement, so I say vent away!!! I also did everything right they still dont know how its possible I had a recurrence, but I did in the scar tissue of the lumpectomy even after radiation and 4yrs on tamoxifen uuugh!!! I was LIVID!!! I sure did not know how on earth I was going to do it all again and yet I did..one step at time. Had I looked at the long road I would never have gotten through it.
I just posted in the main forum and I'm hoping that might help you in how you are going to get through it all. You can do it, so be super gentle with yourself. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it, as nor could I. Bad luck they said...yet they still carry on about diet and alcohol contributors...yeah I don't really drink and have a healthy diet. So certainly wasnt through my doing at all. They really don't know, they can only suggest the logical things to reduce.
Take a deep breath and one thing at a time.
Hugs M xo