Why is it so hard?

Thanks @rose18 and @kmakm. It’s good to know @Rose18 it does get better. I do have a psychologist to talk to. It certainly is a roller coaster. I was doing okay ish, then last week we had to put our old dog down which seems to have knocked me about. Thanks for listening! 

Hello 12paws. It sucks eh? I'm fairly new at this survivor business, being three months past my last active treatment. Having BC gets described here a lot as a rollercoaster. Well I say the rollercoaster continues. I always knew this time was going to be difficult for me and it is.

Yesterday at the Plan B Conference we had a speaker on post BC wellness. She said you will feel better but it takes time. One of our number (@Zoffiel was it you? Having a brain fart here...) asked (and I'm paraphrasing) 'how long do you have to feel like crap for before you reach this mythical time?' The speaker, a doctor, said if you experience feeling significantly down or stressed to the point that it is affecting your normal activities or emotions for longer than three weeks, then you should seek help.

So maybe it's time to speak to a counsellor or psychologist? Did you have a breastcare nurse you liked? Perhaps you can ring her. Or the BCNA helpline on 1800 500 258. The women who are on the other end of the line there are wonderfully kind and helpful. Maybe find a support group so you can hang out with people who 'get' it.

50% of women diagnosed with BC will also develop depression and the time when this is most likely to occur is after your active treatment has finished. The similarities between PTSD and a BC diagnosis are currently being studied because they are almost identical in how people psychologically react.

So I think all the same advice holds true now as it did when you were going through treatment. Be kind to yourself, put yourself first a bit more, do something that makes you happy everyday. Breathe. Please don't suffer in silence. Reach out in whatever way you feel comfortable with. Stay in touch here. We're with you. K xox

Hi @12paws, I think it’s getting better at the 4 year mark. I still have up and down days and sometimes use this site. I think about cancer less, and am getting back to full health. The threat of it coming back is always in the back of my mind though. I’m trying to work full time and to plan to travel somewhere nice once a year. I hope you start to feel better soon. I think the one year mark was difficult for me and I was tired for about 2 years. I had the same treatments as you and I was 42 when diagnosed. Don’t be tough on yourself, you’re doing well. It’s a really tough road, but it does get easier. x

Oh @allyjay I so agree with shoving the ‘journey’ where the sun don’t shine

Hi there @12paws ...it really sucks doesn't it. They can take their "journey" and "your new normal" and shove it where the sun don't shine!!! Not that long ago, I sat on my (brown) hair and spent my weekends packing parachutes for credit, and dive bombing out of basically anything that would get me to 12000 ft and that has a door. No more. Now this befuzzled titless wonder sits with her explosion of white frizz...I look like a somewhat rabid and decrepit sheepdog...and knit. Fuck that!!

Hi @12paws I’m at the other end of my journey so I can’t offer you any insight sorry, so I’m just sending you a giant virtual hug instead. xx