Forum Discussion
Why are we in hiding?
This started as a post on another discussion but I felt that it's importance to me meant it needed it's own spotlight. I started to diverge from the issue at hand with, "If anyone has an issue with my disease that is their problem - I can't deal with it." The only concession I make is head covering when I'm out of the house and a prosthesis "in public" - that is more about being sensitive to my immediate family than me caring.
I do wish that "out and proud" was more socially acceptable. Given that 1 in 8 women get breast cancer, I wonder how many of us are walking around wearing an uncomfortable prosthesis or going under the reconstructive knife just to appease social norms (and I don't mean that women who want reconstructions, shouldn't have them - just those of us who don't care). Will I go down the reconstruction path? Possibly. But not because I have a problem with my self-image.
I know there's been exhibitions, etc of woman with mastectomies but unfortunately I think they edge towards the label of "freak show" (and I don't mean that in a derogatory sense). What would happen if it was just normal to see women without a breast/s? Would the world stop or fall apart, or would society accept that shit happens and there goes a survivor? And to take it further, maybe the possibility of a mammogram would not be quite so frightening.
I do wish that "out and proud" was more socially acceptable. Given that 1 in 8 women get breast cancer, I wonder how many of us are walking around wearing an uncomfortable prosthesis or going under the reconstructive knife just to appease social norms (and I don't mean that women who want reconstructions, shouldn't have them - just those of us who don't care). Will I go down the reconstruction path? Possibly. But not because I have a problem with my self-image.
I know there's been exhibitions, etc of woman with mastectomies but unfortunately I think they edge towards the label of "freak show" (and I don't mean that in a derogatory sense). What would happen if it was just normal to see women without a breast/s? Would the world stop or fall apart, or would society accept that shit happens and there goes a survivor? And to take it further, maybe the possibility of a mammogram would not be quite so frightening.
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- This has been another great thread, amongst many of recent times. A thread of people, women, discussing their choices, their reasons, and their feelings about those choices. At no point throughout this thread has there been a comment that has felt judgemental. I applaud you all on your raw honesty.
Thanks @Sister, for starting the thread. - Hi @Romla,
done! - Oops @Giovanna_BCNA could you delete last remark please was a mistake
- I only have one headlight and I have not worn a bra since I was diagnosed 2.5yrs ago. I always loathed bras anyway. I usually wear a cotton top of shirt material when out and with pockets on the front which kind of hides the missing one and the nipple of the other.
The other day I was giving out how to vote cards with my shirt on and then a tshirt with the vote logo on it over the top. Well the temperature climbed to 33c and then I got hot flushes every half hour so I had to take the shirt off and just wear the clingy T. The logo sort of skewed to one side over the missing boob but I tell you, in over a thousand people who passed me, not one stared at my chest and not one commented either. People don't really care so I don't either. Of course I am prepared to talk about my bc journey if someone asks. Bra free and loving it! - @Sister No criticism taken! I admire everyone's decisions. If it's right for them that's just perfect. I especially admire the BMX flat and fabulous. Love their gusto. My mother is "lopsided", and for the last few months has been going without her ancient prosthesis because she's 'lost' it in the house somewhere... I barely notice it and she barely cares!
I often think about the sliding doors moments in my life, not with regret but with curiosity. Like, what would my life have been like if I'd stayed living in London in 1993 rather than coming home?
The 'new' me feels lost and so anxious. I hope we both get our mojo back, hopefully sooner rather than later. K xox - Helen Reddy’s song “I am woman” would make a helluva breast cancer anthem if it could be modified to be gender inclusive @Giovanna_BCNA
- @Sister always but st the same time BC and all I’m mostly happy with my life cause I have a great husband and job. Do I wish I had saved more so I could own a house yes? But I hwve got to travel which is more valuable than property to me. I think everyone feels like this sometimes.
- Often
- Too much time to think and question how I've got to this particular spot (after so many years just being on the go all of the time). I digress from the topic of this thread a bit but, do you ever wonder who you would be if you had made a slightly different choice at some point in your life (like Gwynneth missing the train in Sliding Doors)?
- @Sister never once thought you were critisizing anyone.... You are brave because you are questioning the status quo.....
Be gentle with yourself
Hugs
Soldiercrabxxx
