Why are we in hiding?

I've always loved that song too @romla.  I remember when my big sister bought the single - I think it was probably around the time of The Female Eunuch and the equal pay disputes.  Re: the whipping off of things, I had a mental image of "the aliens are among us"! :-) 

Please don't think that I am criticising those of you who have had reconstructions - I am most definitely not.  I was just musing on a world where no-one would expect it.  And where I would feel comfortable going anywhere without a mask, because I'm not so brave.  I certainly wear my prosthesis for appearance as the damn thing is so uncomfortable after awhile as are the bras that I need to wear with it.  If I wasn't so obviously lop-sided, I definitely wouldn't.  I am so pleased that for many the reconstructions have been a really positive experience but I also know that there's others like @zoffiel who go through all of that pain and don't have a good outcome (although heartening to hear that the dates have not had an issue with it).  And I'm hearing you about the questions @SoldierCrab - I've had women in bc groups think I've had a reconstruction and then are surprised when I say I haven't and don't know if I will.

What has surprised me is just how brave I'm not, anymore.  I used to be someone who would say "Who gives a f*&k" and be happy to celebrate being different.  I've realised that I've lost her somewhere along the way.

I am only 19 days post my major reconstruction but at this stage have no regrets and a solid feeling of having made the right decision for me. Because of the way my treatment plan happened, I had plenty of time to think about it, research, discuss and debate the pros and cons. Because of my family history I had actually given it some thought along the 'if this ever happened to me what would I do' lines long before I developed BC. My breast surgeon sensed that and it was gently raised at my diagnosis. It's a highly personal decision and I knew that for my psychological health, having always been generously endowed in the chesticle department, that waking up flat was a bad scenario for me. I never felt pressured and so far I'm pleased with the results. Check back with me in six months!

I think really most woman do it so they feel comfortable not so much for others. Although living  in a small community I made the effort to look well...as I didn't want the gossip that  I was dying or something. So it was ultimately for my choice not others. 
Prosthesis I think women wear so they feel balanced and comfortable. Bilateral mastectomies make it easier to go flat.

I personally chose reconstruction not for others but for me. I am bottom  heavy already so it would be near impossible to buy clothes that fitted me well without something replacing my boobs. Also my main asset was my boobs. ..so I was rather attached to my cleavage and keen to have it returned.

Oh wow, @Romla, I've always thought it was a powerful song, but never more so than just now reading those lyrics.

@Romla I've always loved that song. Sang it for House Music in Year 8 in 1979!

Dont they resonate still ? They energise  and  unify - ever since Ifirst heard them nearly 50 years ago they uplift me.

@Sister have a look at these lyrics 


Wouldn’t it give a different image to our community ?

But maybe just whipping off headgear @Sister

Tbh @Sister not a bad idea for impact on the Field of Women with no signage necessary .Sort of a visual of the Helen Reddy anthem  “ I am woman” but gender nonspecific to include the blokes.The LGTB community are out and proud maybe we should be too. Will check the lyrics of that song tomorrow and see if they can be modified to something like “ I am human” Any songwriters out there in the community ? @arpie ?

One of the multiple reasons I chose a double mastectomy was my concern about having one 18DD tit wobbling about on its own. Add to that concerns it would turn feral and want to kill me, both off made sense. I was not exactly railroaded, but certainly normalised, into the concept of reconstruction prior to mastectomy. I had my chemo first then it took  me so long to get a double organised that when the conversation changed to retreads it almost seemed like a done deal. I can only be grateful that I wasn't convinced a double tram flap (all the rage at the time)  was a good idea.

After a series of cock ups, I have A cups on a sizable frame. You are right, @Sanra , clothes look much better without the huge norks. I honestly don't think that most of my clothing would look much different if I had no tits at all. It certainly would have saved me a lot of pain and expense to go without, but at the time I knew no one who could give me informed advice and went with the flow.

Hind sight is not exactly 20/20 but sometimes it feels like it. Thankfully expectations are changing and, hopefully, those making the huge commitment to go through complex reconstructions are doing it for the right reasons. Fingers crossed.