Dear @TripleTea
i think it's called catch up time. You've had enough going on to qualify for a full on traumatic episode, you've kept it all pretty controlled and sensible but sooner or later you and your body need to howl. Time alone by yourself will just make the catch up more likely. "Normal" frequently needs to be redefined after treatment. New normal isn't awful or unacceptable but it's not what you had, and there has to be a transition and some grieving is to be expected. I felt that all the air had been knocked out of me after treatment and a few permanent side effects. A short time with a really good, cancer experienced counsellor did wonders. We accept and welcome professional help for our bodies, but cancer, serious surgery and its implications bash the mind too. You are actually completely normal, it's just a very new sort of normal, hugely uncomfortable at first and a bit of a pilot light would help immensely to navigate to the new world. Best wishes.
