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kitkatb's avatar
kitkatb
Member
7 years ago

The New Me.

 I was so looking forward to a works Christmas Party this weekend to catch up with people I hadn't seen for a quite a while as well as friends who have been there for me since the beginning of this shitty BC journey.   I got the old glad rags on ready for a fun night but once having got there I just felt I didn't belong. Like some sort of out of body experience when you are there but not there??   It was lovely to see people but I couldn't muster up one ounce of fun or enjoyment for the evening when everyone else was so obviously enjoying themselves.  With the realisation all I wanted to do was go home I left early with plenty of tears driving home thinking what the hell is wrong with me.  I know in my heart it will get better, I guess it was just one of those moments when you want your old life back and some sense of normality.  
coping
survivorship

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  • Sister's avatar
    Sister
    Member
    7 years ago
    Totally get it - coming up with conversation is just so hard.  And who has the energy...
  • Blossom1961's avatar
    Blossom1961
    Member
    7 years ago
    @kitkatb You will certainly be getting a lot of understanding on this forum. I dont even like to answer my phone unless it is from one of my new BC friends. I even ignore family members except my kids and hubby. I could push myself, but why bother when this is where I am most comfortable at this point of time. The new me will gradually embrace some of the old life but just at the moment I am trying to learn to like the new me. If that makes sense. Sorry if it doesnt. My brain knows what it is trying to say. You will get to where you will be happy again with some of the old things.