On Thursday I had an appointment with a gynaecologist which should have been nothing to worry about. As she commenced her examination though she immediately began questioning me about an area she could see that had some skin changes. While she was quick to reassure me that it was not cancer she did say that it could be pre-cancerous changes. The end result is that I am booked in for a biopsy of the area in a couple of weeks.I went home telling myself that this was just precautionary and that it was probably nothing bad. Also reasoning that if it is pre-cancerous then it would be easily taken care of at this early stage. I kept myself busy and tried to put it out of my head. I know that it is completely unrelated to my breast cancer so no need to panic in this regard.I thought I was doing really well with not getting too far ahead of myself until I came home this morning after a lovely walk and yummy breakfast out, to find an invasion of ants in the kitchen. Just felt completely overwhelmed and tears flowed. Pretty sure that this overreaction is because I have this biopsy thing to get through. Also I have not spoken to anyone except my husband about the biopsy procedure as I do not want everyone getting alarmed at the mention of "cancer" again. No need for everyone to get worried about something that is probably nothing to worry about. But not talking about it and using logic is ignoring the fact that of course I am worried about it. Just need to talk about it with others who will understand my reactions. Would dearly love to return to the time pre bc when a doctors visit was nothing complicated! :/

Deanne my heart goes out to you. It's where you have been previously that has your mind racing. Worry isn't going to fix it. Try and keep busy with something that is pleasurable. As to the ants I too lose it when they appear in the kitchen. They drive me nutty as I don’t leave crumbs or anything for them. Take care and hopefully this is cautionary only. Sending you a virtual hug from Christine xx

Thinking of you Deanne. I hope you found it helpful to "talk" to people who understand. It's often the little things that set me off and I think that's because we use such a huge amount of energy to deal with the big stuff. All the best with your tests. Cheers, Helen

Hope this comes around quickly for you. When I was keeping my bc secret for a bit (my SIL was dying at the time of cancer )...a counselor asked me.. .. If it was your husband/sister/wife...would you want to know? I understand why you are waiting but if you think about that question you may then give yourself permission to share with a close few. Take care. Kath x

Oh those bloody doctors visits! It's even worse when they call....we hold our breath and our hearts beat a million miles an hour!........the littlest change sends us straight back to the beginning.......it's great that you are distracting yourself while you are waiting....We all deal with this in our own way.......Sending healing light and vibes for great results....

Thanks for the hug @iserbrown. Yes the ants were not after anything in particular (no crumbs etc) and I could not find where they were coming from! They just kept appearing as I was squishing them with a tissue (not wanting to use spray etc on the benches). I was surprised at how little capacity I had to deal with them though. Just one thing (or 100 ants) too much it seemed. I think you are right @WavingNotDrowning we do use up a lot of energy dealing with the "big stuff". But it did release a bit of tension! Poor hubby did not know what to think or do! Yes @ScorpionQueen these things do send our minds straight back to the beginning ...Thanks for the advice @primek about maybe sharing it with someone close. I almost confided in my sister yesterday but then one of my daughters walked in and I decided to keep it quiet. I keep telling myself it is only a couple of weeks till the biopsy but I guess then there will be a wait for the pathology too. Hopefully it will be all sorted before our little holiday we have booked for mid November. I was really looking forward to what will be the first real holiday that my husband and I have been on without kids since our honeymoon 27 years ago! (Unless you count the trek we did for the Cancer Council earlier this year, but that was not exactly a "holiday"). Just another little hurdle to get over and soon it will be dealt with and I'll be moving forward again! I just wish that doctors could do these little procedures right there and then so the waiting part was not an issue! Well maybe the house will benefit from a burst of distracting spring cleaning! Ants beware! :|

Pre-cancerous changes | BCNA Online Network

29 Replies

Jane221
Member
9 years ago
That's great news Deanne - very happy for you! Now you can get on and enjoy your holiday xx
socoda
Member
9 years ago
Congratulations!!! That is fantastic.
iserbrown
Member
9 years ago
Woo hoo the good news is here!
rowdy
Member
9 years ago
fantastic news have a great time away
Cosette
Member
9 years ago
Glad to hear it, Deanne :smile:
Deanne
Member
9 years ago
Pathology results - all clear. No treatment required. Yay! Now to get my husband better from the flu so we can enjoy our holiday! :)
Deanne
Member
9 years ago
So lovely to hear from you Robyn. Her name was Janey I think. There you go, at least our memories are working! :)

We are strong and I know that I will be ok, whatever the results are. It is just this annoying part of waiting that is THE most difficult part. Once I know what, if any, treatment is required then I can get on with it again.

Going for an extra long walk this morning to charge up my "batteries" They just don't hold "charge" very well in this uncertain atmosphere!
Thanks, so much, for your message. xxx
Robynw
Member
9 years ago
Hi Deanne,there is always something isn't there? Don't forget how strong we are now Deanne!!Our fear of cancer will always be close to the surface after what we have been through.Do you remember a few years back,there was a lady on the blog who lived just outside of Melbourne,and she had a lovely garden? I can't remember her name...anyway I recall her story of Christmas shopping.She had finished treatment,and was shopping on a hot day.She bought a bottle of water,and she couldn't undo the lid.She said that she burst into tears right in the middle of the shop where she was.Your story is just like that Deanne.We think we are OK,but it is just there,under the surface!!Try not to worry Deanne.Thinking of you.Cheers Robyn. xox
rowdy
Member
9 years ago
Once you get results you can start processing it all sending you a hug and hope all is good
iserbrown
Member
9 years ago
Waiting is nearly as bad as worrying!

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