My story

Never feel guilty because you are lucky enough to not suffer every complication under the sun; lymphedema is a shit of a thing which none of us want and having to live with that is a bloody nightmare. This is not a competition and one persons' less stressful process doesn't mean someone else has to do it harder.

I get it with the forums. Anything resembling a support group gave me the creeps and I didn't feel anything they were doing or talking about related to me. Still don't. I was very fortunate after my first diagnosis10 years ago to come across a program called CanNet (that will ring some bells with a few old timers) which opened a door to consumer advocacy which then lead me to heaps of training and ultimately a gig with Cancer Australia reviewing grant applications. It's given me a sense that I'm doing something useful that needs a brain like mine. That, and the practical support I was able to give random people over the years, has been the only positive thing that came out of breast cancer for me. I suck at fundraising, visibly fidget when faced with emotional displays and will only hug about ten people. Touchy feely I am not, which doesn't mean that the whole business, particularly now I have a recurrence hasn't hit me hard.

Cancer doesn't change you, in my opinion. I liken it to having too may wines, a few filters may come off, but what is at the core of you remains the same. That's why we all deal with the crap differently.