@LisaO
What a rough time you're having. Cancer and treatment alone are tough enough without relationship stresses on top of them. At a particular point in my life (long before cancer) I had multiple negative things happening simultaneously and it took me a long time to acknowledge that I needed professional counselling. It saved my life - well, my sanity, anyhow - and since then I've never hesitated to seek counselling when major challenges arise. If the individual counsellor is not the right one for you, don't give up on counselling per se - look for someone else who is right. It seems as if your husband might not be willing to go together; if not, I suggest you start alone, and see what happens from there. All the best to you.