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Janey235's avatar
Janey235
Member
12 years ago

Mini Meltdown

I just wanted to tell you all a little story. I was out doing some much needed Christmas shopping today. Yes it's 40 degrees here in Melbourne today and I decide to shop. What an idiot!!!!! But I have been unwell and unmotivated to shop this last week because of this damn annoying cold. I think it's okay and then it seems to freshen up again and I'm sore from coughing and my nose is crusty. Arhhhhh, you know the deal with colds. But back to shopping. I had picked up some presents and I was tired and my feet hurt so I sat down to lunch. Bought a bottle of water because stupid me left my bottle in my hot car. This all sounds innocent enough doesn't it. Well I thought I'd better have some water as I had not hydrated enough today of all days. But try as I might I couldn't get the top off the bottle. I sat there trying for a good five minutes then I got really emotional and couldn't stop myself from crying. I had to retreat into the ladies to calm myself down. Talk about melt down. Over a water bottle. Is this silly or what? Ladies those of you who are just starting on this journey take heart. It's okay to have a meltdown every now and again. It's all part of the process and I am not beating myself up about it but I just wish I wasn't in the middle of a crowded food hall at a major shopping centre LOL How embarrassing!

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  • LouiseTurner's avatar
    LouiseTurner
    Member
    12 years ago

    Oh Janey and Robyn, you poor things. Do you think the time of year is contributing to your emotions...and janey, the first time with no headwear, 40 degree heat and chrissy shoppoing just days before christmas. A recipe for disaster really. but good on you for getting out there.

    I really hope everyone gets to put their feet up and relaxes this chrissy. I found some photos of myself from christmas last year. I didnt think i had any pics of me bald, but yes, christmas ones. I looked like a bowling ball with a big fat body wobbling around. but i was determined to be comfortable and went baldy on top. I found it liberating and like I was back in control or something.

    Its amazing how quickly we can laugh about the embarrassment and the horrors of BC. Its empowering.

    XXXLouie

     

  • Robyn_W's avatar
    Robyn_W
    Member
    12 years ago
    I had tears in the bank this morning.I was lining up,and there were a lot of people.I could see out of the corner of my eye,one lady staring at me.I started to feel very flustered and hot,and suddenly I felt as though I was going to faint.I rushed for a seat,and started crying.Another lady came over and asked me if I was alright,and I snapped at her,YES!! This is not like me.I regained my composure and went back to lining up! I didn't care in that moment what people thought,I just wanted to get home.Its not easy being out and about,and I think this is something that is going to take a long time to really adjust to.Cheers ladies:) Robyn xoxo
  • Janey235's avatar
    Janey235
    Member
    12 years ago
    Your so sweet. We have a saying in our family which came about when my sister said an hilarious thing about her new laptop she got a few years ago. She said "aren't they amazing you can use them on your lap". My son piped up with "ummm, LAPTOP". We all roared with laughter and it's now stuck. My husband said to me when I told him about today "ummmm, ROLLER COASTER". Ain't it the truth! Same wishes for Christmas to you too Deanne. Love Janey xxx
  • Janey235's avatar
    Janey235
    Member
    12 years ago
    We are going through physical and emotional turmoil on this journey and we all will be visited by meltdowns, big and small. It's perfectly normal :) Janey xxx
  • Janey235's avatar
    Janey235
    Member
    12 years ago
    I find it kind of funny now looking back on it. I must have looked ridiculous. Not that I think everyone was looking at me but at a moment like that it feels like every eye on the planet is fixed on you. I was self conscious enough going out in public for THE very first time without my scarf and my oh so short grey curly hair on show. Oh well, stuff happens. Janey xxx
  • Bearteggie's avatar
    Bearteggie
    Member
    12 years ago

    Hi Janey

    I haven't even started chemo yet and I am already having melt downs.  I am a nervous wreck as a passenger in the car and today found myself crying in the Medicare Office because I am annoying my husband with my anxiety. On the way home I was wondering if I should seek help for my out of control anxiety, but from what you are discribing it sound like it is all par for the course.

    I guess we all all feel very vulnerable and fragile during this process.

    Glad to hear you aren't beating yourself up over this meltdown.  I will do the same. 

    Love

    Joy xx

     

     

     

  • All_smiles's avatar
    All_smiles
    Member
    12 years ago
    Hi Janey , You poor thing . I read your posts and advice to others and you are so strong . I wish I could be more like you ! It's amazing what little things can set us off though and in my case there are still tears most days . I hope you got your shopping done and have a lovely Christmas with your family . You deserve it ! Sophie xoxo
  • All_smiles's avatar
    All_smiles
    Member
    12 years ago
    Hi Janey , You poor thing . I read your posts and advice to others and you are so strong . I wish I could be more like you ! It's amazing what little things can set us off though and in my case there are still tears most days . I hope you got your shopping done and have a lovely Christmas with your family . You deserve it ! Sophie xoxo