It's not all Kylie

Yeah well no libido here either:-)

Just wanted to say don't get me wrong I think Jane m and Belinda did and have done so much for breast cancer! AND I feel that the exposure and high profile of breast cancer has now misled lots of people. Before my own diagnosis I was like many others and just thought breast cancer was breast cancer - I had no idea of the difference types and stages. That's why when 3 days after the diagnosis I was in the plastic surgeons office asking for immediate reconstruction. She kept saying she couldn't do it because the cancer was 'invasive'. In my mind at the time, I was thinking why does she keep saying 'invasive' - all I was focussed on was loosing my breast!

I guess my husband and I are just weary of the input of 'well meaning' friends, family and colleagues who we have to KEEP telling ' No I'm not in remission, NO I'm not better yet, No I haven't got a great long term survival prognosis.' Flippant 'you just have to be positive' and 'you'll be fine , they've come so far with cures'. I think people still find it so confronting to acknowledge that people do die! Even if they are positive!!! I'm sure Belinda and Jane were positive, but positivity is a way to live life AND it doesn't necessarily assure survival.

I admit I have felt very validated by my oncologist who in a joking way told me he has seen the most positive people die and the most bitter twisted survive. He tells me to drink wine, enjoy life and that the journey for some women is worse than others. In the beginning I thought he was too dismissive and joked too much but now after all the stuff I've been through I see that this is his way of coping! When I asked when I could get my portacath out, he did what he always does when he has to deliver bad news; he runs away and then pops his head around the corner and says quickly," chances of it coming back for u too high- u need it" and then he's gone and I'm crying and the nurses are pulling curtains around the HOCA chair.  

I want to shout from the roof tops- its not over til it's over! Your observations are of course right that everyone whether rich/ famous/ high profile still suffer - and they can still die! It's more the issue for me that the everyday person seems to forget this and focus on the survivors( not always a bad thing) but they also could validate the FACTS that not all of us will survive.

I don't want to not be here for my daughter. She is an amazingly intuitive soul.The day the onc told me he couldn't put me on amotose inhibitors because my sensitivity was too high and I would probably kill him or my husband ( his joke) if he put me on them, he also told me then that it means I have a 1 in 3 chance of not making the next 4 years, if I make 10 he feels that will be a great outcome and 15 will be amazing. My daughter will be 18. That was 2 years ago.

G was only 30 months old. That night she got me to sit down and she sat in my lap facing away from me, she wrapped my arm around her and looked up into my eyes and said" mummy you 're going to die aren't you." I hadn't said anything to her about the dr appointment. Of course my eyes welled up and I said" everyone dies honey, but not today and I'll do anything I can to be here with you as long as I can" Her response was " it's ok mummy, because I love you very much and it'll be ok" I still cry when I remember that.

If I didn't have G I would go off the #*+# tamoxifen and take my chances but I will endure and fight and encourage others to be vigilant, because no child deserves to be without her mum!

Sorry I'm a bit verbose- I wrote you a completely different response early tonight then I lost it/ deleted or whatever. Thank you for your feedback and money or love or positivity can't buy life and the last 2 things can make life meaningful, purposeful and money can help make it fun! Let's focus on what life gives:-)