It's a mystery. I lost a considerable amount of weight during chemo 10 years ago. I wasn't that ill and worked right through AC. . TC this time, combined with an oophorectomy, has had the opposite effect.
I figured out a while back that restricting carbs and upping my exercise kept my weight down. Carbs and sugar were all I could tolerate for three months and now the side effects of the chemo and aromatase inhibitors have me so crippled I can't run, or even walk distances. Bushwalking was my default exercise program, now I can't climb up a hill.
I am literally terrified of what could happen if I get back on my horse. He can be a cranky big shit (bit like myself) and I don't think I have the legs to hold on if I have to. The thought of hitting the ground off the back of a 17.2 hand animal makes me want to vomit.
My upper body strength is good and I'm back in the pool but the kilos are starting to creep on. OK, they are piling on. Every old injury, and I've had a few, adds to the pain and makes it more difficult to motivate myself.
Here it is, a beautiful morning, public holiday, and I'm still in bed whinging instead of trying to drag my sorry arse outside. I just ate a cherry ripe for breakfast. Pain and depression are not a great combo for someone who comfort eats. I used to joke that I look like a V8 but that my fuel consumption is more like a Prius. That's not funny anymore when the excess fuel I've consumed is slapping me on the back of the leg as I shuffle around.
I know what I should be eating and am trying to be 'good' but without some way to burn energy I think I'm doomed.
A big virtual hug to you lovely. xxx
