Well ladies, I would bang my head against the wall, but the wall would probably break. I am set for my next Chemo on Wednesday - and my oncologist wants me to start Herceptin. The thing is, I had heart surgery as a child - so they did an ultrasound on the heart - the results were heart function of 45% - it has to be at least 50% for the Herceptin, so now there is a mad rush to test and re test, because another test showed 60% - I only found this out today - have already been up to the hospital to have the heart monitor put on for 24 hours - in the meantime I find we have to go to a major town (an hour and a half drive there) after I have the monitor removed tomorrow for another ultrasound on the heart (sigh) all this travelling! I get so tired - I have my mother-in-law coming for a visit and will arrive in about half an hour - I hope she realises we haven't time for 'sight seeing' - its so full on! I feel like I am about to explode! Yesterday was bad enough when I had an attack of the 'sads' - I am so sick of being prodded, poked, stuck with needles, nudged, fudged, X-Rayed until I glow in the dark..................am trying to take big deep breaths! God grant me strength!

Hi Josie i know exactly how you feel. i have been having weekly chemo and have 3 and a half hours to travel there and 3 and a half back again. then have to organise someone to get my son to and from school. i finished today yay! now i have herceptin 3 weekly and 6 and a half weeks of radiation plus scan tests and heart scans its crazy!!! But i didnt look at the whole picture just each treatment and each week at a time. the travelling is hard and draining and stressful the 2nd day i have to have a day in bed to catch up on the fatigue,but im trying my best to keep on top of it and keep looking that this is a means to and end and to enjoy a healthy cancer free life. you will get through this i dont know where our strength comes from but is there. look forward to the good days and try to just go with the bad and let it all out.everyones journey is differant and we have to just do the best we can. sending you lots of strength annie xx

Hi Josie, wow with what you are going through i think you can be forgiven for an attack of the sads, i have them and my path seems so easy compared to you, keep your chin up and know my thoughts and prayers are with you all the way. Good luck with all your tests and i will be thinking of you on Wednesday when we both have to go through the chemo again.. Take care Sandy X

Oh Annie - how dare I winge about how far I have to travel then I read how far you have had to travel - whooa! I nearly fell off my chair!, I only have to go 1 and 1/2 hours to get there.......I feel very sheepish now! I bet you are in SO MANY ways glad you are over the chemo - at least I can have my chemo in my local (bush) hospital. I will think of you tomorrow, and remind myself to pull my head in! I have to go to another town for the radio therapy after the chemo - for 4 to 6 weeks (not looking forward to that, but they will put us up in accomodation) - I am having all the heart tests to find out if I am going to have Herceptin every three weeks for the next year - I am seriously thinking, I shall cross that bridge when I come to it. I read some of the stories on here, and a lot of them give me hope, inspiration and like yours I think my distance thing isn't too bad - at least the big major town I go to is only 140+ k's, but apparently up until last year the locals here had to travel to Melbourne - over 300 k's so like I said, maybe I need to pull my head in! I feel wonderfully inspired by you and I hope in all sincerity that every thing goes really well, you deserve it! I send you heartfelt wishes and wonderful vibes x x x Josie

Yes Sandy I will be thinking of you - do you go to sleep through your chemo? I did for my first one and am hoping I shall be as relaxed this next tine around, I took crossword, sewing and reading to do but it just sat on my lap as I snored the place down! x x x J

Fed up! | BCNA Online Network

33 Replies

JJoy
Member
15 years ago
Hi Ladies, will have a go at compiling tomorrow - bit flat today and aches and pains, hope I am not getting a cold (all I need!) love your comments! Keep them coming, I have set up a file to write them down, Cheers Josie x x x
TonyaM
Member
15 years ago
Leonie I think your friend's tactless remark is definitely the winner so far. Josie,hope you are compiling all these pearls- we'll have enough to fill a book very soon I think.

Tonya xx
JJoy
Member
15 years ago
Oh Leonie! I think that just about takes the cake! I didn't think I could be any more shocked, but 'your friend' has managed it! I can't believe it! (I think that is 'feind' not 'freind'!) - I didn't know you had to make a 'space' on a prayer list (I don't know whether to laugh or cry!) I hope you didn't let it upset you (not worth it) however, I would be having second thoughts about your friends' so-called sanity. To be quite honest, I bet you have a better class of enemy (tell my you are giggling at that!) and yes Tonya, I am going to start compiling soon x x x Josie
Leonie_Moore
Member
15 years ago
The same friend who I spoke about above, (I have been more of a friend to her than she has ever been to me) when she heard of my diagnosis said "Leonie, I will say a prayer for you, I now have a space because one on my list has passed away". Now that made me feel better!!!!!! They are everywhere. XLeonie
TonyaM
Member
15 years ago
Well Josie,I think that's one for the book of tactless remarks.We are getting a collection now.

Tonya xx
JJoy
Member
15 years ago
Yes Tonya, I think you are right - so much for 'awareness' eh! x x x Josie
TonyaM
Member
15 years ago
Hi Josie,

I think some people can't handle the whole cancer thing or even just medical problems in general.They don't know what to say to you for fear of upsetting you or fear you might rabbit on about gory details or your emotions.This may make them feel uncomfortable to be around us.My 2 sisters have never had anything wrong with them and are not medically inclined.If I go into too much gory detail I can see them literally squirming in their chairs.They have avoided me somewhat.But that's ok because they really don't understand.I don't take it personally and hey,who wants to hang around a hypochondriac! I doubt that our unsympathetic ones would be able to cope with what we've been through.I only "off load"to my true caring supporters and just talk about trivia with the others-the ones that CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH !

luv Tonya xx
Leonie_Moore
Member
15 years ago
My first 5 days after chemo I do NOTHING - have a shower late in the day, make the bed and clean up the kitchen. That's it. I try and "prepare for hibernation" on my good days. I have had quite a few good days this round so I will be as fat as a pig in mud with all the cooking. On your good days, try and not do too much - our energy levels are not too high and get depleted very quickly as I have found the last couple of days. I only have 6 more days until my next "dose" and I'm starting to "get edgey". I think I like being well even if I run out of energy. Hang in there until your good days come around. I love your blogs but if you are unwell we can wait for updates. XLeonie
Leonie_Moore
Member
15 years ago
My first 5 days after chemo I do NOTHING - have a shower late in the day, make the bed and clean up the kitchen. That's it. I try and "prepare for hibernation" on my good days. I have had quite a few good days this round so I will be as fat as a pig in mud with all the cooking. On your good days, try and not do too much - our energy levels are not too high and get depleted very quickly as I have found the last couple of days. I only have 6 more days until my next "dose" and I'm starting to "get edgey". I think I like being well even if I run out of energy. Hang in there until your good days come around. I love your blogs but if you are unwell we can wait for updates. XLeonie
Leonie_Moore
Member
15 years ago
My first 5 days after chemo I do NOTHING - have a shower late in the day, make the bed and clean up the kitchen. That's it. I try and "prepare for hibernation" on my good days. I have had quite a few good days this round so I will be as fat as a pig in mud with all the cooking. On your good days, try and not do too much - our energy levels are not too high and get depleted very quickly as I have found the last couple of days. I only have 6 more days until my next "dose" and I'm starting to "get edgey". I think I like being well even if I run out of energy. Hang in there until your good days come around. I love your blogs but if you are unwell we can wait for updates. XLeonie