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donnar's avatar
donnar
Member
14 years ago

Donna

Hello everyone, I've just finished my 3rd AC with one more to go 2nd Feb followed by Taxol which will be weekly for 12 sessions. Being quite a social person I'm finding that I'm feeling like a spectator looking in especially about a week after AC. Today I was so looking forward to catching up with a heap of girlfriends visiting all the galleries in melbourne with champagne at each stop ( its a yearly tradition ) and I was like a zombie! I also got quietly  stressed fielding all the questions about my treatment . Repeating myself over and over. it was quite overwhelming and it made me feel quite sad as I felt I wasn't part of the group. Couldn't drink the champagne as it felt like it was burning my insides.  I'm finding that I handle smaller intimate surroundings so much better with big crowds making me feel quite uncomfortable.. anyone else felt the same way? Love, Donna xx

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  • Phoenixchick's avatar
    Phoenixchick
    Member
    14 years ago

    I found that I could not tolerate a drop for months and still rarely drink after nearly 18 months....But to socailise on good days with friends who wanted to see you... and had time.. wow you are most fortunate. I was really socially tired for months too,  regrdless of what you talk about, it is tiring just concentrating.Even thougth I would work on my good days, I needed long gaps of social silence... with just the radio or a book.  ... and lots of early nights.

  • pisces_tas's avatar
    pisces_tas
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi donna,

    It is normal to feel as you do. I too felt a bit strange, as if " life was put on hold "  for a time, and I was looking at others going on with theirs. Go with how you feel. BC is an emotional and physical experience. In time you can find a " new " normal. Time to reflect I think is part of the experience.

    Wisihing you all the best. The museums sound nice. I find I cannot drink much alcohol now; hardly any actually. There are lots of non alcohol drinks to sip on..... Concentrate on getting better for now.. Kathy.ooxx.

  • Julie_P's avatar
    Julie_P
    Member
    14 years ago

    I can totally relate to what you felt ( and I can't drink wine or champagne either - how cruel is that?!) People mean well but you get so sick of talking about yourself, and being told you are 'brave'! What's so brave about trying to carry on as normal? But I find myself not really saying how I actually feel just to avoid the pitying looks. For my chemo I have been determined to carry on and work when I can in my 'good' weeks, and I will continue to, but I've come to the conclusion that it would have been so much easier just to escape from life for 3 months and become a hermit, that way you wouldn't have to keep up appearances and a cheery smile all the time, it can be very draining.

    Small groups of close friends are definitely the way to go. I guess you will feel different, our new journey in life is so different to our friends, but you'll cope, and the treatment will end, and life WILL return to normal! 

    All the best

    Julie

  • Julie_P's avatar
    Julie_P
    Member
    14 years ago

    I can totally relate to what you felt ( and I can't drink wine or champagne either - how cruel is that?!) People mean well but you get so sick of talking about yourself, and being told you are 'brave'! What's so brave about trying to carry on as normal? But I find myself not really saying how I actually feel just to avoid the pitying looks. For my chemo I have been determined to carry on and work when I can in my 'good' weeks, and I will continue to, but I've come to the conclusion that it would have been so much easier just to escape from life for 3 months and become a hermit, that way you wouldn't have to keep up appearances and a cheery smile all the time, it can be very draining.

    Small groups of close friends are definitely the way to go. I guess you will feel different, our new journey in life is so different to our friends, but you'll cope, and the treatment will end, and life WILL return to normal! 

    All the best

    Julie